The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People
believe that the development of humankind’s
lives
is the most crucial objective of
science
. From my point of perspective, I strongly agree with the statement since only
science
study is beneficial for
people
’s life improvement and it is the study of helpful technology for human
lives
that I will elaborate on
further
in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, both chemical and biological sciences studies mainly observe human internal organs’ processes.
Furthermore
, the observation is made to deeply acknowledge the internal body condition of humans which is beneficial for
further
research about human disorder or sickness in the field of medicine that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not accessible in any other educative fields. As an illustration, a professional doctor is doing research in order to innovate several new medication methods for
people
suffering from extreme diseases.
This
idea of the research is accessible in the study of natural sciences
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
thus
is not found in any other subjects, like social or cultural education. Substantially,
this
discovery would help in preventing
people
from being attacked by those harmful diseases.
On the other hand
, technological advancement could be gained by deeply learning
science
, which requires advanced skills in physics, chemistry and biology. Those branches play an important role in upgrading the technological industry which helps introduce several developments in
people
’s
lives
.
For instance
, the main reason for the self-serviced robot modification
constructed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is to raise the independent personality of a person.
For
this
reason,
people
are not relying too much on others which would bring several drawbacks which affect our
lives
in the future. In a nutshell, the main
science
targets are to help citizens’ self-development and health.
Submitted by naufalandhikapratama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay addresses the topic and expresses a clear opinion, but could provide a more balanced view by considering counterarguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure can be further improved by organizing the ideas in a more cohesive manner.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of vocabulary and the use of relevant terminology. However, there is room for improvement by including more varied vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a good command of grammar with mostly accurate and varied use of complex structures. However, some errors in sentence structure and word choice can be corrected.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: