IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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People
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 believe that the development of humankind’s
lives
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 is the most crucial objective of
science
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. From my point of perspective, I strongly agree with the statement since only
science
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 study is beneficial for
people
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’s life improvement and it is the study of helpful technology for human
lives
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 that I will elaborate on
further
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 in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, both chemical and biological sciences studies mainly observe human internal organs’ processes.
Furthermore
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, the observation is made to deeply acknowledge the internal body condition of humans which is beneficial for
further
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 research about human disorder or sickness in the field of medicine that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not accessible in any other educative fields. As an illustration, a professional doctor is doing research in order to innovate several new medication methods for
people
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 suffering from extreme diseases.
This
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 idea of the research is accessible in the study of natural sciences
,
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apply
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 and
thus
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 is not found in any other subjects, like social or cultural education. Substantially,
this
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 discovery would help in preventing
people
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 from being attacked by those harmful diseases.
On the other hand
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, technological advancement could be gained by deeply learning
science
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, which requires advanced skills in physics, chemistry and biology. Those branches play an important role in upgrading the technological industry which helps introduce several developments in
people
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’s
lives
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.
For instance
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, the main reason for the self-serviced robot modification
constructed
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apply
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is to raise the independent personality of a person.
For
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this
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 reason,
people
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 are not relying too much on others which would bring several drawbacks which affect our
lives
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 in the future. In a nutshell, the main
science
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 targets are to help citizens’ self-development and health.

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Task Response
The essay addresses the topic and expresses a clear opinion, but could provide a more balanced view by considering counterarguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure can be further improved by organizing the ideas in a more cohesive manner.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of vocabulary and the use of relevant terminology. However, there is room for improvement by including more varied vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a good command of grammar with mostly accurate and varied use of complex structures. However, some errors in sentence structure and word choice can be corrected.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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