IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternative way.Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

#people #tax #industries #pollution #alternative
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Reduce pollution by the way increasing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 on various industries has become a majority topic of concern in modern society. In my opinion, I would argue against
this
Linking Words
 as think there
alternative
Add a missing verb
are alternative
show examples
 and better solutions to
this
Linking Words
 issue. On the one hand, world environmental problems can be solved by increasing
fuel
Use synonyms
 costs. Because industries or vehicles regularly use
fuel
Use synonyms
 that releases carbon and dioxide into the air.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when
fuel
Use synonyms
 costs increase, people will limit their use of those fuels.
As a result
Linking Words
, there is a reduction in harmful emissions into the air.
For example
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has been done in Frame, where the government charges a tax on any amount of
fuel
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has led to the country seeing a significant drop in greenhouse gas emissions since that tax was enacted.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another solution
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
 promoting clean energy sources. Renewable sources
such
Linking Words
 as wind, solar and nuclear are
also
Linking Words
 good at solving environmental problems as they don't produce much greenhouse gases. Some countries in the world completely depend on renewable power to meet their needs and they are doing their part to solve global environmental problems. In conclusion, increasing taxes on industries is not the best solution
instead
Linking Words
 we should use measures
such
Linking Words
 as clean renewable energy. Once those solutions are implemented by governments around the world, the earth will gradually be saved.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effective by providing a clear thesis statement and summarizing your main points.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples, but more specific details and examples would make your arguments stronger.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally good, but you could vary your word choice and use more sophisticated phrases to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Overall, your grammar is accurate and you have used a range of sentence structures. However, watch out for minor errors and consider using more complex sentence structures to showcase your language skills.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution reduction
  • accountable
  • cleaner technologies
  • tax revenue
  • environmental projects
  • mitigate pollution
  • stricter regulations
  • public awareness campaigns
  • behavior change
  • sustainable practices
  • incentives
  • green technology adoption
  • negative economic consequences
  • alternative methods
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: