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Band 5.5

Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance on the screen and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#entertainment #performance #screen
In these
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These
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 days, we have an opportunity to watch recreational programmes on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television and there is no need to watch them live. In my opinion, it is exciting to watch them online,
however
, there are some pluses of seeing them offline.
To begin
 with, in the era of
technology
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technology,
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 we have a chance to relish our favourite performances with the help of various devices,
for example
, televisions. It is very advantageous. First of all, a person can do it from home so they do not need to waste time on the road.
Secondly
, some individuals live in distant areas where some performances are not shown.
Thus
, regardless of location, they can watch entertainment programmes from home.
Thirdly
, some shows can be expensive so people do not have enough money to visit them but televisions solve the issue.
On the other hand
, entertainment shows, which are watched live, have some benefits.
Firstly
, they have a specific ambience.
For example
, when a person visits sports matches, they are immersed in cries of support from other visitors. It is awesome to feel
yourself
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apply
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involved with others in
common
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a common
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 cause, like supporting your
favorite
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favourite
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 team.
Secondly
, visiting
such
 occasions gives individuals a chance to meet new friends. It is great as their interests are
match
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matched
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 if they visit the same performance.
Therefore
, it is beneficial more because of the special spirit of cohesion. In conclusion, I firmly believe that seeing recreational
programmes
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programs
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as
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apply
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online,
as
Correct word choice
and
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 offline
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own advantages and drawbacks. A person should choose the appropriate option for them
according to
 their interests, preferences, and possibilities.
Submitted by alii.viisl on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • variety
  • engaging
  • real-time
  • performing arts
  • interaction
  • emotional connection
  • spontaneity
  • authenticity
  • immersive
  • sensory experience
  • virtual reality
  • audience participation
  • curated
  • cultural heritage
  • relevance
  • social interaction
  • public opinion
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