Young people are often influenced in their behavior by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh advantages?

It is generally accepted among some folks that peer pressure in youngsters is salient
whereas
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some believe that it has recognizable demerits. In my opinion, its’ merits outweigh the downfalls,
due to
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a number of factors which will be illustrated in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
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, it is apparent that young people like to work in groups and their peers always influence them in many ways. When working in teams, each of them shares the best practices they follow and
as a result
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, the team-mates get a chance to acquire more skills and knowledge.
Moreover
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, the outstanding personalities in schools or colleges set plenty of good examples for others which is a good inspiration towards developing their own characters.
Additionally
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, the encouragement and the moral support given by contemporaries are considered to be the best motivational factors for one’s success in live events.
However
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, the association of same-aged individuals who have more inclination towards social misconduct will always carry negative sentiments towards other teenagers’ lives.
Furthermore
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, these socially unacceptable behaviours can lead to the emergence of a ferocious group of youngsters in society. In conclusion,
although
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the negative influence of peers can cause the younger generation to face pessimistic consequences, these advantages of peer pressure counterbalance the pitfalls.

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This will provide a clear roadmap for your essay and help the reader understand your position.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. However, consider using more transitional phrases to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is quite strong, with appropriate word choices and a good variety of vocabulary. However, try to use more sophisticated and precise vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Overall, your grammatical range is good. However, there are a few minor errors in sentence structure and verb tense consistency. Proofread your work carefully to minimize these errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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