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Band 4

it has been claimed that over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workplace #reason #workers
Some
people
 believe that workers over 50 are not as efficient as the younger
ones
,because it is hard for them to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the new technology and follow the rhythm of modern life.In my opinion, they are equal or maybe more qualified than younger
ones
 for many reasons. I admit that it can be hard for them to keep up with new technology.Especially, that it is growing fast.
However
, they are patient and they have experience on how to solve problems and deal with critical issues.To illustrate,a study
in
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at
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 New
York’s
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York
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 university showed that 80
percent
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per cent
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 of older
people
 in a group are more productive than the younger
ones
.
Furthermore
, the young generation is more focused on their career and their own benefit.
As a result
, the firm will always struggle to reach its goal and stand up in the market.
Moreover
,they don’t focus on the job they are doing because they are mostly busy
in
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on
show examples
 their phones or playing video games which
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
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 getting good results.
For instance
, younger
people
 will offer less quality
job
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jobs
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 compared to older
ones
.
Despites
Correct your spelling
Despite
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, their knowledge
about
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of
show examples
 modern tools, simply because they are distracted.
To sum up
,
i
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I
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 truly believe that older
people
 can have a huge impact on the company
due to
 their experience and knowledge.
However
,that does not mean that younger
people
 are useless.
In
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On
show examples
 the contrary, they can form an effective group when they are working together and sharing their cognition and comprehension.
Submitted by kaoutar.eljaouhari50 on

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task response
Provide a clear position on the topic and consistently argue for it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas are logically organized and connected within and between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Demonstrate better control of grammatical structures and avoid errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous learning
  • Wealth of experience
  • Technological change
  • Professional experience
  • Diversity
  • Stereotype
  • Lifelong learning
  • Re-skilling
  • Age discrimination
  • Expertise
  • Leadership
  • Inclusiveness
  • Cultivating a culture
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