IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people tend to buy products or get services instantly, without waiting. Why is it happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #products #services #development
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Individuals nowadays resort to
purchase of
Wrong verb form
purchasing
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 different
products
Use synonyms
 and
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
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 various facilities as soon as they are released in the market. It is caused mainly
due to
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 the reasons for extreme
product
Use synonyms
 obsession and the fear of missing out. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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this
Linking Words
 proves to be a highly disadvantageous approach. Adults including children are eagerly waiting to experience the launch of new services or
products
Use synonyms
 attributed to numerous reasons. First and foremost, various people are extremely obsessed with a company and
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
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product
Use synonyms
 offerings.
Hence
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, they can not wait to experience the features of a new device that has been just launched, at times many of them are tech reviewers and feel the obligation to apprise their followers with updates. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, every year thousands of adults wait early morning in line during extreme cold temperatures to get hold of new iPhones.
Moreover
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, youngsters and
tech-savy
Correct your spelling
tech-savvy
 people consider the possession of
such
Linking Words
products
Use synonyms
 a sign of social status.
This
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 at times, has proven to be a leading aspect of high consumerism culture among their friends.
Consequently
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,
such
Linking Words
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
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 trend to try the latest market offerings has proven to be of a highly disadvantageous nature. Owing to the deemed urgency to buy the latest
products
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, customers end up paying a premium on its market value and, in the long run, shrinking their purchasing power.
Additionally
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, because of the prevalent
show off
Add a hyphen
show-off
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 culture, younger generations at
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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, force their parents to gift
products
Use synonyms
 which, is the key to,
leading
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the leading
a leading
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 cause of
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
 and economic stress.
Last
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 but not least,
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 adult population,
for instance
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, in the case of electronic equipment like cell phones and playstations have proven to be the first steps in causing
a long-term health issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
long-term health issues
a long-term health issue
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releated
Correct your spelling
related
 to
eye
Add an article
the eye
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 and physical body. In conclusion, there is a growing popularity to buy and try the latest service and
product
Use synonyms
 offerings,
due to
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 the fear of missing out and an obsession with features of the
product
Use synonyms
 among their friends.
However
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,
according to
Linking Words
me
Add a comma
me,
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this
Linking Words
 is a far negative development as it causes financial and economic hardships.
Submitted by harshdpatel3443 on

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task response
Ensure that all points raised in the prompt are addressed in the essay. It is important to explore both the reasons for instant buying and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the clarity and structure of your introduction and conclusion. Make sure they provide a clear overview of your main points and establish a logical progression of ideas.
lexical resource
Diversify your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms and idiomatic expressions. This will enhance the overall richness of your essay.
grammatical range
Continue practicing using a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. This will strengthen your grammatical range and add more depth to your writing.
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