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Band 4.5

Every country should give its contribution by doing voluntary work in some developing country. Up to what extent do you agree or not?

#country #contribution #work
Nowadays, collaboration with other
countries
 is the way that we support each other. The developing
countries
 have more complex problems that affect resource development and require contributions from other
countries
. I absolutely agree that
such
 voluntary activity is very important to engage with others,
whereas
 some
people
 disagree with
this
 statement. The developing
countries
 have a common problem with their education; most of the
people
 live in rural areas. As a volunteer teacher, helping educated
people
 with low education is the best way to improve their knowledge.
For example
, an English teacher from another country will give them new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 to improve their ability to speak English. The other activity,
such
 as fund-raising to help each other, is one of the most important things to do.
For instance
, the voluntary act of donating to clean the environment by voluntary
people
 The developing
countries
also
 have problems with their waste management, which contributes to lessons learned from
people
 outside the developing
countries
. Waste management is very important to have a good and green environment. So, collaboration and communication by voluntary means are
such
 great engagements. In conclusion, it is important to have voluntary
people
 and
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 to improve
collboration
Correct your spelling
collaboration
 with
othe
Correct your spelling
other
stakeholder
Fix the agreement mistake
stakeholders
show examples
such
 as in developing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Submitted by nazhif27 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • voluntary work
  • developing country
  • benefit
  • address issues
  • poverty
  • education
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • cultural exchange
  • understanding
  • sustainable
  • respectful
  • empower
  • local communities
  • self-sufficiency
  • employment opportunities
What to do next:
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