IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams represent information in Edmonton about transport and car use.

The diagrams represent information in Edmonton about transport and car use.
The illustrations give information about transport use in Edmonton and
people
Use synonyms
's reasons for using the
car
Use synonyms
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 used transport is
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
 and
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 forty-five per cent,
while
Linking Words
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
one
Add a missing verb
are one
show examples
 in ten and
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular reason for using
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
 is commuting to work. As can be seen from the table, 45% of travel was made by cars
whereas
Linking Words
 the light rail transit was used 35%. These two were the highest used transportation types
used
Verb problem
apply
show examples
by the
people
Use synonyms
 of Edmonton. Bus and Taxi were both used 10% of the total travel which was much
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than the use of
car
Use synonyms
 and rail
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the table data, most
people
Use synonyms
 travelled to commute to work and the percentage of it was 55. The send the highest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 travelled for the business purpose which was 10% less than the work commuting reason. For shopping and leisure
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 15% of
people
Use synonyms
 travelled and
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 children to their school was another reason
people
Use synonyms
 travelled which
occupies
Wrong verb form
occupied
show examples
 40% of their total travel.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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