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Band 2.5

These days, many people are moving from rural areas to city centers. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #areas #city #centers #development
Nowadays, there are many folks that are moving from villages to city megapolises.
Possible
Add an article
The possible
A possible
show examples
 aspect of
this
 statement might be
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for nomads, but there are more negative aspects and reasons, rather than
positive
Correct pronoun usage
positive ones
show examples
.
According to
this
, in
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 paragraphs below,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will describe my point of view.
To begin
 with, recently,
many
Change preposition
in many
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 cities,
due to
 their wide range
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population, many citizens face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traffic jams every day,
consequently
, the number of car accidents strictly
rise
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 constantly. Many locals are being late and punished strictly by their boss, or ambulances can not
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their first aid. Urbanization
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the main reason why we have
traffics
Wrong verb form
traffic
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, and accidents are occaised.
Therefore
, more and more engines are
stucked
Correct your spelling
stuck
 on roads.
Second
Add an article
The second
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 reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Crime - is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the most discussed
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
show examples
 in our society. It seems that
,
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apply
show examples
 people that live in rural areas
such
 as
Add an article
a village
the village
show examples
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
, small towns and etc. are weak-educated, secular and whole their
live
Replace the word
lives
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 have worked on dirty work
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 mining, planting, cleaning. So, when they move to
more
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the more
a more
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 civilised
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, they start to break rules and not follow
constitution
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the constitution
show examples
. To
conlcude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, obviously, despite the fact that people move to
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 for their own needs,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfort for locals is way more essential.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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