IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #work #places
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's era, technology is doing wonders for
people
Use synonyms
 in every sector making the lives of
people
Use synonyms
 better and easier than ever. Most of the
work
Use synonyms
 areas nowadays are being governed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
up-to-date machinery and automation.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 the implementation of modern tools and techniques
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 revolutionised the old way of performing
work
Use synonyms
 in a positive manner,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are
also
Linking Words
 some demerits that come along when we depend on it more than required. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss the
above stated
Add a hyphen
above-stated
show examples
 points in detail with suitable examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, before the advent of technology performing any task at
work
Use synonyms
 was a very
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 and tedious
job
Use synonyms
. Advancements in the field of automation
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 enabled humans to get their
job
Use synonyms
 done within a short moment of time, ranging from making an
excel
Capitalize word
Excel
show examples
 sheet to submitting an assignment.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 most of the business meetings are now held through web conferencing by sitting at their homes, for which
people
Use synonyms
 have to travel thousands of miles in earlier times.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a survey, after the implementation of modern tools and techniques in the working sector there has been a considerable decrease in the amount of time and effort needed for getting a
job
Use synonyms
 done opening a lot of
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities in
this
Linking Words
 sector.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are making the most out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology, they have ultimately become lazy as one can have the liberty of having anything with just a click of a button.
This
Linking Words
 has a huge negative impact on the health of the
people
Use synonyms
 making them susceptible to diseases and
also
Linking Words
curb
Wrong verb form
curbing
show examples
 the
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 life span.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the Ministry of Health, after
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of modern automation
options
Add a comma
options,
show examples
 there has been a shocking 35 per cent incline in the cases of obesity and
40
Correct article usage
a 40
show examples
 per cent rise in the cases of cardiovascular diseases.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
modern technological advancements are taking over most of the
work
Use synonyms
 sectors helping humans
in doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
 their intricate jobs very easily. Individuals ought not to forget the dark side that
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
tagged
Verb problem
apply
show examples
along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 and it's their responsibility to make the best out of it for themselves
as well as
Linking Words
 for the workplace.
Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: