You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter -explain your situation -describe your problems -tell him/her when you think you can start

#job #week #employer #-explain #situation #-describe #-tell

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Dear Sir/Madam, I

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

hope you are doing well. I am writing a letter to inform

Change preposition

apply

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your good office that I am not going to start

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my job

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

coming

Monday

Add a comma

Monday,

show examples

November 15, 2023. I am Kia K you hired

Linking Words

last

Correct pronoun usage

me last

show examples

weeks

Fix the agreement mistake

week

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for the position of Marketing Staff. I am not going to start

this

Linking Words

Monday for some good reason because my mother died 2 days ago.

Moreover

Linking Words

, my two

sibling

Change to a plural noun

siblings

show examples

is young teenagers

they

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

can't handle

this

Linking Words

kind of situation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Change the word

the

show examples

biggest problem that I encounter is the funeral settlement.

In addition

Linking Words

, I am the one who is responsible

all

Change preposition

for all

show examples

the things that

need

Wrong verb form

are needed

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

mother

Change noun form

mother's

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funeral like

death

Add an article

the death

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certificate and arrange in the our house. To

conculde

Correct your spelling

conclude

, I will start my work on Tuesday next week after my mother interment. I will make sure

for

Change preposition

show examples

that. I hope

your

Change preposition

for your

show examples

kind consideration. Yours faithfully, Kia K

Submitted by kimberlygumban on Fri Oct 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Provide a more specific and clear explanation of the situation.

coherence cohesion

Use appropriate greetings and closings for formal letters.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas into paragraphs to improve coherence.

lexical resource

Use more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Ensure proper use of grammar and sentence structures.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

152 words

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You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter -explain your situation -describe your problems -tell him/her when you think you can start

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

In many countries, plastic containers have been more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?