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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter -explain your situation -describe your problems -tell him/her when you think you can start

#job #week #employer #-explain #situation #-describe #-tell
Dear Sir/Madam, I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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hope you are doing well. I am writing a letter to inform
to
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apply
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your good office that I am not going to start
for
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apply
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my job
for
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apply
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this
 coming
Monday
Add a comma
Monday,
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 November 15, 2023. I am Kia K you hired
last
Correct pronoun usage
me last
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weeks
Fix the agreement mistake
week
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 for the position of Marketing Staff. I am not going to start
this
 Monday for some good reason because my mother died 2 days ago.
Moreover
, my two
sibling
Change to a plural noun
siblings
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 is young teenagers
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 can't handle
this
 kind of situation.
Furthermore
,
my
Change the word
the
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 biggest problem that I encounter is the funeral settlement.
In addition
, I am the one who is responsible
all
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for all
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 the things that
need
Wrong verb form
are needed
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in
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for
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 my
mother
Change noun form
mother's
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 funeral like
death
Add an article
the death
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 certificate and arrange in the our house. To
conculde
Correct your spelling
conclude
, I will start my work on Tuesday next week after my mother interment. I will make sure
for
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of
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 that. I hope
your
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for your
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 kind consideration. Yours faithfully, Kia K
Submitted by kimberlygumban on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a more specific and clear explanation of the situation.
coherence cohesion
Use appropriate greetings and closings for formal letters.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into paragraphs to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Use more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Ensure proper use of grammar and sentence structures.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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