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Band 5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
These days it is noticeable that a number of people around the globe are moving to urban
areas
 from villages looking for a better life.
This
 leads to
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the population in rural
areas
.
This
 essay believes that massive migration to
cities
 will bring a negative effect.
Firstly
, there is a shortage of skilled
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 in rural
areas
;
Secondly
, moving to urban
areas
 leads to overcrowding. In urban
areas
, young people have many opportunities to obtain higher and professional education, from childhood to adulthood,
while
 in rural
areas
such
 opportunities are insufficient. If every graduate student works abroad or in major
cities
,
this
 leads to a huge problem, primarily with rural demographics and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of educated personnel.
For example
, in my
hometown
Add a comma
hometown,
show examples
 it’s even difficult to find a person who knows how to repair a personal computer. It is not a secret that, the process of urbanization
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started with our ancestors, now it is happening and it will continue in future. If too many people start moving from rural
areas
 to urban
areas
,
cities
 will begin to experience overcrowding. It
also
 puts pressure on
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
 supply, leading to high rents that make urban living unaffordable for many.
For example
, a big proportion of
eastern
Capitalize word
Eastern
show examples
Europe
Change noun form
Europe's
show examples
 population lived in overcrowded households in 2021. In conclusion, I believe that many of the problems associated with urbanization can be avoided, but dealing with overpopulation in large
cities
 becomes a challenging task. If government representatives work on
this
 problem and provide answers to
such
 questions, it could affect the future of the country.
Submitted by dinasagatova0000 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are well-supported and explained.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more advanced lexical resources.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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