In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

These days it is noticeable that a number of people around the globe are moving to urban

areas

from villages looking for a better life.

This

leads to

reduction

Correct article usage

a reduction

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the population in rural

areas

This

essay believes that massive migration to

cities

will bring a negative effect.

Firstly

, there is a shortage of skilled

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

in rural

areas

;

Secondly

, moving to urban

areas

leads to overcrowding. In urban

areas

, young people have many opportunities to obtain higher and professional education, from childhood to adulthood,

while

in rural

areas

such

opportunities are insufficient. If every graduate student works abroad or in major

cities

this

leads to a huge problem, primarily with rural demographics and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of educated personnel.

For example

, in my

hometown

Add a comma

hometown,

show examples

it’s even difficult to find a person who knows how to repair a personal computer. It is not a secret that, the process of urbanization

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started with our ancestors, now it is happening and it will continue in future. If too many people start moving from rural

areas

to urban

areas

cities

will begin to experience overcrowding. It

also

puts pressure on

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

supply, leading to high rents that make urban living unaffordable for many.

For example

, a big proportion of

eastern

Capitalize word

Eastern

show examples

Europe

Change noun form

Europe's

show examples

population lived in overcrowded households in 2021. In conclusion, I believe that many of the problems associated with urbanization can be avoided, but dealing with overpopulation in large

cities

becomes a challenging task. If government representatives work on

this

problem and provide answers to

such

questions, it could affect the future of the country.

Submitted by dinasagatova0000 on Fri Oct 27 2023

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Ensure that your main points are well-supported and explained.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more advanced lexical resources.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?