The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #future #resources #people

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that pouring the national budget into the young is the most optimal tactic for a nation to make a preparation in the long run. From my perspective, I comparatively consider myself an advocate of

this

notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is quite essential for the government to invest in

activities

Correct article usage

the activities

show examples

of children and adolescents in their country for a more and more developing future.

This

due to

the fact that they are the next generation who will continue to lead their country becoming one of the nations which have a drastic growth in all aspects. The USA or Germany are the most outstanding instances, which

paid

Wrong verb form

pay

show examples

attention to educational and medical facets for their young generation in order that they can be potential candidates in an intensive global label workforce.

Therefore

, preparing for people at an early

age

by resource investment plays a practically vital role towards a nation.

Although

this

financial

cashment

Correct your spelling

catchment

encashment

cashing

of the author in young

age

groups is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if they have an ignorance with the other groups of

age

. For the time being, people

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

in a

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

age

still put effort

to dedicate

Change preposition

into dedicating

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

themselves to

show examples

their nation, which will be the strong foundation for the next generation to not only inherit but

also

continuously promote in the following periods.

For instance

American

Replace the word

America

show examples

Correct word choice

and

show examples

German

Correct your spelling

Germany

show examples

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

still

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

supportive finance-related policies brought in by their governors

beside

Change preposition

besides

show examples

allocating for the youth, which greatly helps them maintain the living of themselves and their families namely the money support for postpartum women or the medical guarantee for all executives working on national companies.

Hence

, it is

also

a significant investment for the adult

age

group parallel with spending money on future generations. In conclusion, even though it is an appropriate budget spent for people

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

from 1 to 17,

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

older

age

also

need a particular investment from the state

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri Oct 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more varied expressions.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A group of individuals present the view that accepting an unpleasant circumstances such as an undesirable career or low income is the best way to tolerate the situation, whereas others believe that it is highly beneficial to make an effort to boost the status. I strongly agree with the latter opinion.
6.5
band
You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home , you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter .. say where you think you left the papers " explain why they are so importa nt "' tell the manager what you want him/her to do
I am writing an email to mention a thing I left my necessary documents in the room due to the harsh schedule of a flight. I usually keep the documents under the table, and it looks like a book brown folder. If you open it, you will see the different colours of plastic pages to keep them separated.
6.5
band
It has been seen that reading for pleasure develops imaginations and better language skills than to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The advent of technology has enormously transformed the living standards and amusement vogues. Nowadays, the masses prefer to watch videos on the Internet, however, reading from books has significantly reaped benefits in fostering mental health and enhancing language capabilities.
6
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Products advertising has a wide range of enhancing the business nowadays. It is prominent to promote items in a new way. Business development is to focus on new products because many businesses are online and easy way to show products at any time. However, I think the positive aspects exceed the negative.
5.5
band
Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Who influences more to children,parents,teachers or friends is the most debated statement after they start going to school over all the forums on social media sites.some people are of opinion that teachers have a major share in shaping their intellectual and social development and I agree on a bigger part of it as it works in real life for the majority of students after getting into school.

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has been seen that reading for pleasure develops imaginations and better language skills than to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?