The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that pouring the national budget into the young is the most optimal tactic for a nation to make a preparation in the long run. From my perspective, I comparatively consider myself an advocate of
this
notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is quite essential for the government to invest in
activities
Correct article usage
the activities
show examples
of children and adolescents in their country for a more and more developing future.
This
is
due to
the fact that they are the next generation who will continue to lead their country becoming one of the nations which have a drastic growth in all aspects. The USA or Germany are the most outstanding instances, which
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
attention to educational and medical facets for their young generation in order that they can be potential candidates in an intensive global label workforce.
Therefore
, preparing for people at an early
age
by resource investment plays a practically vital role towards a nation.
Although
this
financial
cashment
Correct your spelling
catchment
encashment
cashing
of the author in young
age
groups is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if they have an ignorance with the other groups of
age
. For the time being, people
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in a
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
age
still put effort
to dedicate
Change preposition
into dedicating
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
show examples
their nation, which will be the strong foundation for the next generation to not only inherit but
also
continuously promote in the following periods.
For instance
,
American
Replace the word
America
show examples
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
German
Correct your spelling
Germany
show examples
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
still
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
supportive finance-related policies brought in by their governors
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
allocating for the youth, which greatly helps them maintain the living of themselves and their families namely the money support for postpartum women or the medical guarantee for all executives working on national companies.
Hence
, it is
also
a significant investment for the adult
age
group parallel with spending money on future generations. In conclusion, even though it is an appropriate budget spent for people
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
from 1 to 17,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
in
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
older
age
also
need a particular investment from the state
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: