The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that pouring the national budget into the young is the most optimal tactic for a nation to make a preparation in the long run. From my perspective, I comparatively consider myself an advocate of

this

Linking Words

notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is quite essential for the government to invest in

activities

Correct article usage

the activities

show examples

of children and adolescents in their country for a more and more developing future.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that they are the next generation who will continue to lead their country becoming one of the nations which have a drastic growth in all aspects. The USA or Germany are the most outstanding instances, which

paid

Wrong verb form

pay

show examples

attention to educational and medical facets for their young generation in order that they can be potential candidates in an intensive global label workforce.

Therefore

Linking Words

, preparing for people at an early

age

Use synonyms

by resource investment plays a practically vital role towards a nation.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

financial

cashment

Correct your spelling

catchment

encashment

cashing

of the author in young

age

Use synonyms

groups is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if they have an ignorance with the other groups of

age

Use synonyms

. For the time being, people

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

in a

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

age

Use synonyms

still put effort

to dedicate

Change preposition

into dedicating

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

themselves to

show examples

their nation, which will be the strong foundation for the next generation to not only inherit but

also

Linking Words

continuously promote in the following periods.

For instance

Linking Words

American

Replace the word

America

show examples

Correct word choice

and

show examples

German

Correct your spelling

Germany

show examples

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

still

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

supportive finance-related policies brought in by their governors

beside

Change preposition

besides

show examples

allocating for the youth, which greatly helps them maintain the living of themselves and their families namely the money support for postpartum women or the medical guarantee for all executives working on national companies.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

a significant investment for the adult

age

Use synonyms

group parallel with spending money on future generations. In conclusion, even though it is an appropriate budget spent for people

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

from 1 to 17,

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

older

age

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

need a particular investment from the state

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri Oct 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more varied expressions.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
Tiny businesses and city markets became out of service in several states because individuals are interested in huge supermarkets. So , this means that poor people in every country will not be able to access these companies and purchase their needs . There are many positive sides to this fashion as well as a number of downsides.
<4
band
The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.
The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among
5.5
band
the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The cost of vehicles is a hotly debated topic that often divides opinion. While some people believe that maximising the fuel cost is the best way to save money, others think there are also other solutions. I think that, despite the convenience it brings, people should not raise the cost of fuel vehicles too much.
5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Some people tell children that they can do everything if they try hard enough. In this message, there are both advantages and disadvantages.
<4
band
Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Well, we have two maps which allow us to observe the changes and rearrangements of a Cambridge Central Library. On the upper side it is a map that was used 20 years ago, and on the bottom side it is another map which is now in service.

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.