Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe that
technologies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add the comma(s)
example,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for example. Consider adding the comma(s).

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mobile
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, are making gaps in social interaction. I strongly disagree
about
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the statement because it can make
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

life easier by getting news faster,
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

becoming
entertaining
Correct article usage
an entertaining

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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tool and will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, sophisticated
technologies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can help
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get an easier life, especially a cell
phone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Nowadays, thanks to the
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone

The word smart phone seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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phone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which can optimize the internet, a person can access a bunch of
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

within their hand. The
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that they get through THE internet can be used as an
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

source in certain discussions.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, A mobile
phone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

offers several
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment

It seems that entertainments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and high-tech specifications.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who love photography and gaming (as their hobbies) will have bigger opportunities to join a community.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can be a tool to build social interactions.
From
Change preposition
For

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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these two reasons,
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun interaction in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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social interaction through
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones

The word smart phones seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject interaction. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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became
Change the verb form
become

It appears that the verb became should be in the past participle form. Consider changing it.

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easier. Despite the mentioned benefits of cell
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
A
Correct article usage
The

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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previous paragraph,
technologies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be a threat to social
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects

It seems that aspect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
People
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to waste their time just to play games with their
phone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A survey said Indonesia ranked as
number
Correct article usage
the number

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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one country- especially for
young
Add an article
the young

The noun phrase young generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation -that
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends

It seems that the verb spend does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a lot of time on games. As
result
Correct article usage
a result

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, we will not have a desire to interact with the
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings

It seems that surrounding may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, using phones can lead to particular health issues,
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
Add a comma
instance,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for instance. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are using mobile
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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within
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a long period of time,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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will have
eyesore
Fix the agreement mistake
eyesores

It seems that eyesore may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
backache
Fix the agreement mistake
backaches

It seems that backache may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, and something their hand
will get
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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tremor
Fix the agreement mistake
tremors

It seems that tremor may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, health issues and social activities issues are the biggest
threat
Fix the agreement mistake
threats

It seems that threat may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms

It seems that term may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of using phones. In conclusion, I disagree
if
Correct word choice
that

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
technologies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can create gaps in social interaction among
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Technologies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

-specifically mobile
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
- have a lot of benefits
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as it will help
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to access
information
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

easily and
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
sophisticated specification will help
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
their
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies

It seems that hobby may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
technologies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can affect
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions

It seems that condition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
disturbing
Wrong verb form
disturb

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb disturbing. Consider changing it.

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their social activities.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the task prompt are addressed and fully answered in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the overall organization and coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise words.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structures and grammar usage.
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