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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period
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The line chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of inquiries sent to the Tourist Information Office in a particular city via three means of communication, between January and
June
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 in 2011.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 visitors to the city made more
inquires
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inquiries
show examples
 in
person
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 and via
telephone
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,
while
Linking Words
 written letters and
emails
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 became the least common choices.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of enquiries in
person
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 experienced the most dramatic change among the different options. In January, the Tourist Information Office received 900
telephone
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 enquiries,
while
Linking Words
 just under 800 letters and
emails
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 were received. Not many tourists chose to ask for information in
person
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, with just over 400 queries. Over the next three months, the
telephone
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 still remained the most popular method of enquiry,
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 approximately 1000 queries. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of
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enquires
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enquiries
show examples
 made in
person
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 saw considerable growth to 800, surpassing the figures for
emails
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 and postal
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enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
. From March to
June
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,
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enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
 in
person
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 were the most common method of inquiry. By
June
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, the
number
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 of
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
enquires
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enquiries
show examples
 soared by more than 1,000 to peak at 1,900. During
this
Linking Words
 period, there was
also
Linking Words
 a significant rise in the figure for
telephone
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 enquiries, from 1000 to 1600.
By contrast
Linking Words
, fewer people sent
emails
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 or letters to make
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enquires
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enquiries
show examples
, with slightly less than 400
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enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
 in May and
June
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.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, june, person, telephone, emails, enquires with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
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