The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
The line chart illustrates the
number
of inquiries sent to the Tourist Information Office in a particular city via three means of communication, between January and
June
in 2011.
It is clear that
visitors to the city made more
inquires
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
in
person
and via
telephone
,
while
written letters and
emails
became the least common choices.
Additionally
, the
number
of enquiries in
person
experienced the most dramatic change among the different options. In January, the Tourist Information Office received 900
telephone
enquiries,
while
just under 800 letters and
emails
were received. Not many tourists chose to ask for information in
person
, with just over 400 queries. Over the next three months, the
telephone
still remained the most popular method of enquiry,
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
approximately 1000 queries. Meanwhile, the
number
of
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
made in
person
saw considerable growth to 800, surpassing the figures for
emails
and postal
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
. From March to
June
,
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
in
person
were the most common method of inquiry. By
June
, the
number
of
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
soared by more than 1,000 to peak at 1,900. During
this
period, there was
also
a significant rise in the figure for
telephone
enquiries, from 1000 to 1600.
By contrast
, fewer people sent
emails
or letters to make
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
, with slightly less than 400
enquires
Replace the word
enquiries
show examples
in May and
June
.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, june, person, telephone, emails, enquires with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
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