Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the digital era, the use of social networking for information exchange between people and access to news is becoming more popular.
While
this
trend helps society keep in touch with long-distance relationships and quickly get knowledge, I believe the risk of receiving misinformation and the inability to have face-to-face conversations outweigh the benefits. It can not be denied that social media helps folk easily connect with
crowd
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crowds
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on the other side of the world. Examples are Twitter or Facebook where everybody can keep track of others' lives by interacting in posts and chatting online.
As a result
,
community
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the community
a community
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can still connect far relationships without frequent direct meetings.
Moreover
, social networking
also
allows users to access info quickly. Owing to the freedom of speech, everyone can post anything they want with no censorship.
This
enables data to be disseminated much faster than traditional news outlets
such
as state-run broadcasts,
thus
giving citizens more time to react to
an
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apply
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emergency
situation
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situations
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like earthquakes.
However
, the proliferation of self-posted news can contribute to an increasing amount of misinformation since most of them are unverified. Take COVID-19 as an example, many Vietnamese during
this
time posted sensational yet groundless rumours, causing fear in the community.
Additionally
, the disadvantages of social media can seen when
population
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the population
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use it too much and gradually
become
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becomes
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overreliant.
This
is witnessed a lot in the young generation which grows up
along with
the developments of the Internet. Some of them consider chatting on social media as the right and only way to communicate and
subsequently
, do not know how to conduct real-life conversations.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Improving the logical structure of the essay will enhance readability and comprehension. Additionally, consider writing a brief conclusion to encapsulate your main arguments.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages with more specific examples or data to strengthen your essay. Clarify your main points in the introduction and provide a brief summary of your position in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has clear and well-organized paragraphs, which helps with readability.
task achievement
You provided specific and relevant examples which support your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the task and presents balanced perspectives on the issue.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global community
  • maintain relationships
  • immediate updates
  • self-expression
  • networking opportunities
  • overuse
  • misinformation
  • privacy concerns
  • personal data
  • culture of comparison
  • decreased self-esteem
  • dissatisfaction
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