More and more people suffer from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated by modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine is warranted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The number of sick people caused by the new era's lifestyle has increased lately. Modern medical systems are proving to fail in treatment for some diseases,

while

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some people have the opinion that traditional cure has to be the best approach. I will present that a combination

between

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both methods will be perfect. First of all, prevention is the ultimate solution to avoid sickness. There are plenty of methods to prevent getting sick

such

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as restricting junk food, having 30 minutes of physical

exercises

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exercise

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everyday

Replace the word

every day

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, and a green or balanced diet.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

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there are

also

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traditional ingredients that can be consumed as a daily drink or meal,

for instance

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, the mixing between ginger and lemongrass. The oldsters said

this

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mixture can help our

body

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bodies

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stay warm.

Secondly

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, modern drugs have a measurable safety portion

that is

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safe for consumption.

Therefore

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, before assigning a prescription doctor and pharmacist will measure our body composition and our symptoms

then

Linking Words

these adequate assumptions produce a credible drug's rule.

For example

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, when a child gets

fever

Correct article usage

a fever

show examples

Linking Words

then

Rephrase

apply

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she needs to consume Paracetamol tablets 3 times a day. Guidelines for

advance

Replace the word

advanced

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cure are evident, which old methods may not follow.

To conclude

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, there is a regression

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people's health

due to

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their new kind of lifestyle meanwhile modern treatments show failures to treat some

kind

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kinds

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of illness. The newest medicines provide an adequate measurement from doctor's opinions which help patients

for

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apply

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not having overdose,

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however

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however,

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herbs or other natural products can be consumed in order to keep our bodies healthy.

Submitted by sifa.herdini on Sat Oct 28 2023

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task response

Ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Organize the ideas in a clear and logical manner. Use paragraphs to separate different points.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary range by using a wider variety of words and expressions.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

7.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
modern lifestyle
modern medicine
traditional medicine
treat
potential solutions
combination
approach

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More and more people suffer from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated by modern medicine. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine is warranted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that news media nowadays have infulenced people's lives in negative ways to what extent do you agree or disaggree

Topic: Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their education and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how can they be solved.