Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
sites
such
as Twitter or Facebook are believed by a number of
people
caused
Verb problem
to cause
show examples
disadvantages specifically
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
young
Correct word choice
younger
show examples
generations and
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
their interpersonal relationship capabilities.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other parties suggest that these
sites
offer more benefits
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
drawbacks in the community by meeting each person to each other in
online
Change the article
an online
show examples
way.
This
phenomenon, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
offers more advantages than
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
disadvantages towards the young
generation
in the community with the ease of access to connect with
people
, and as a medium to express personal things, but the potential drawback is the human-trafficking. One primary benefit of using social
media
such
as Facebook or Twitter is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the ease of access to connect with a lot of
people
over vast
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
. Where the youths are able to communicate with each other without
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on meeting in a traditional way
such
as
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
.
For example
, overseas university students can reach up to their supervisor through Facebook messenger if they want to know
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
regarding their proposals without
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
to meet their supervisors
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
face
to
face
. Another positive thing
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
utilizing social
media
sites
by the young
generation
is that they can use these
sites
as a medium to express personal thoughts which
identical
Add a missing verb
are identical
show examples
to a diary so they can release or
minimised
Wrong verb form
minimise
show examples
their
stressed-level
Correct your spelling
stress level
show examples
. Take
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
recent phenomenon as an example, where at present, there is
vast
Add an article
a vast
the vast
show examples
number of young
people
expressing their days,
such
as good or bad
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
. The young generations are able to release their
stressed
Change the form of the verb
stress
show examples
by releasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abstract thoughts into written form of expression in the form of
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
social
media
.
However
, there is a potential negative effect on the young
generation
in using these social
media
sites
,
such
as the
human-trafficking
Correct your spelling
trafficking
show examples
. As the case,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the young
generation
who
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expressing themselves
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
these online platforms
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to become a target for
human-trafficking
Correct your spelling
human trafficking
show examples
as their personal information
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
known by the criminals. In conclusion,
while
the utilization of certain social
media
platforms
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ease of access to connect with
other person
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
, and as a medium
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
expressing personal thoughts,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the fact that social
media
has
potential
Add an article
a potential
show examples
negative effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
human-trafficking
Correct your spelling
human trafficking
show examples
cannot be overlooked.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
Make sure to fully address both sides of the argument in your essay. Provide arguments or evidence to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You need to work on the logical flow and organization of your essay. Ensure that your ideas are clearly connected and the essay structure is well-defined.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using a variety of synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and more advanced vocabulary.
grammatical range
Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy, particularly in complex sentence structures and verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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