IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that all the children in school are required to learn at least one foreign language. However, others say that those who are not talented do not have to learn. What is your opinion?

#people #children #school #language
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed by some people in these modern worlds, that all the
children
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 need to acquire a knowledge of at least one foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, it needed the participation of the
school
Use synonyms
 needs to
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, based on
this
Linking Words
 modern world are pressurized
children
Use synonyms
 to learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 for coming times. On the one hand, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 promotes cultural understanding. Other than that, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 can improve youngsters' to improve their job prospects. In conclusion, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
 has many benefits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not all young people are talented enough to learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
. Some kids have their own problems learning
this
Linking Words
 skill.
However
Linking Words
, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 will enhance cognitive skills for
children
Use synonyms
, so
children
Use synonyms
 who are not talented can still benefit from learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, there are many benefits to achieve for
children
Use synonyms
 if they are learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
. I believe learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 improves prospects for the future.
Submitted by hwidyadana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a brief overview of your main points.
logical structure
Organize your ideas logically and use linking devices to connect your paragraphs and sentences more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on improving the accuracy of your grammar, particularly in terms of verb tenses and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • talented
  • beneficial
  • enhances
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural understanding
  • job prospects
  • option
What to do next:
Look at other essays: