IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good member of the society.Others,however believe that school is the best place to learn this.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #member #society #school #place
People in the country think that
children
 should behave like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Parents
 send their
children
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school to learn how to react like a good
member
.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
 should teach their
children
 how to behave in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 and some believe that
education
 place is a good way to learn. Some people believe that
parents
 should teach their
children
 to behave like a good
member
. Here
parents
 play a vital role in teaching how to behave
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 good citizens.It is too easy to make their
children
 glow soon.
Parents
 need to some steps to teach their
children
.
Parents
 have a major response to structure their wards for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.We have to start
this
 at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early stage to make their wards
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
For example
,they can teach them by telling stories
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
about good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in reality as role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
.
Secondly
, some think that
education
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best place to learn
this
.
Education
 teaches
children
 how to behave in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 basic manner. Some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 believe that going to school,colleges etc will gain knowledge about how to behave in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. We the
parents
 should send them to the
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
insitution
Correct your spelling
institution
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better experience to
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 a good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. We
conclued
Correct your spelling
conclude
concluded
 that it better that
parents
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teach their
children
 how to behave in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
other
Correct your spelling
rather
show examples
 than sending them to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
insititution
Correct your spelling
institution
institutions
.We the
children
 should grow up to achieve our mission as each individual has.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • moral values
  • social norms
  • structured environment
  • cooperation
  • respect
  • communal responsibilities
  • decision-making
  • societal integration
  • consistent messages
  • cultural expectations
  • complementary roles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: