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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe children should begin learning a foreign language in primary school instead of secondary school. Do you think the advantages of learning a foreign language in primary school outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #language #school
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Some people insist that learning
the
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a
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 second
language
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 at the early stage of
the
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apply
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children
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children's
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 development, which is
primary
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a primary
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 school, is beneficial to them. Personally, I look at the bright side to the positive impact it makes on the students.
Therefore
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, two perspectives of mine will be illustrated in the following paragraph. First of all, learning everything in a much faster way,
the
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apply
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schoolchildren at
the
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a
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low
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young
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 age are able to learn foreign languages with
less
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fewer
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 obstacles. A worth noting feature, which is opposite to us, is that the kids learn everything by experience.
That is
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, they build up strong intertwinement between foreign
language
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 and their real-life experience painlessly.
On the contrary
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, if the
children
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 miss
this
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 golden period to develop
the
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apply
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foreign
language
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 skills, they will start getting used to
follow
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following
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a
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apply
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rigid
guideline
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guidelines
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 taught by their teacher.
Subsequently
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, they will lose their interest when memorizing the vocabulary and grammar, bolstering their detrimental feeling about learning a foreign
language
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. Though combining
the
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a
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 second
language
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 with the primary school climate can motivate them to utter
the
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a
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language
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 they are unfamiliar,
however
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, having no self-driving purpose of learning,
the
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apply
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children
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 at
the
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a
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 young age might make them lose their patient. A vivid case in point is that, the reason why most Taiwanese
children
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learning
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learn
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 English is not their own willingness.
Instead
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, they just follow their parents’ instructions.
Therefore
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, students in
the
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apply
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secondary school, with
more
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a more
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 mature state of mind, can spur themselves to have better achievement
on
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in
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 learning another
language
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. In conclusion, despite the aforementioned problem concerning the
children
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’s motivation, I still assert that the education related to foreign
language
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 should begin as early as possible.
Submitted by meimei639 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical organization, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate language.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammar accuracy to improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Brain plasticity
  • Cultural awareness
  • Globalized world
  • Proficiency
  • Educational opportunities
  • Motivation
  • Resource constraints
  • Specialized teachers
  • Academic pressure
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum balance
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