In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
In the
future
all vehicles will be Add a comma
future,
driverless
, and there only passengers
inside these cars. I believe the advantages of Add a missing verb
be passengers
this
scheme outweigh those
Correct determiner usage
the
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
their active working.
On the one hand, undoubtedly that
the Correct word choice
apply
introduce
Wrong verb form
introduction of
driverless
vehicles will replace the
traditional Correct article usage
apply
drivers
on
their jobs. Hundreds, if not thousands of people Change preposition
in
are now work
as commercial or public transposition Change the verb form
are now working
drivers
, once these autonomous are employed, human drivers
will be redundant. This
, in turn, cause
them Change the verb form
causes
spend
more time finding a new job to make a living, which is not Add the particle
to spend
intersting
to those in Correct your spelling
interesting
middle-age
. Correct your spelling
middle age
However
, I believe drivers
, with many years of experience, might acknowledge the structure and operation of the vehicles, can
choose to step behind the driving progress to work as a Correct word choice
and can
merchanic
for Correct your spelling
mechanic
mantaining
services, Correct your spelling
maintaining
Correct word choice
and reparing
reparing
these Correct your spelling
repairing
preparing
automotives
.
Correct your spelling
automobiles
On the other hand
, the replacing
scheme of Replace the word
replacement
traditonal
Correct your spelling
traditional
drivers
offers a more frequent journeys
, Correct the article-noun agreement
a more frequent journey
more frequent journeys
not to mention
the
long journeys, than ever before. Since driving will be under artificial Correct article usage
apply
intellegence
control, it will not have physical Correct your spelling
intelligence
constrains
like human being Correct your spelling
constraints
thus
it stand
a chance of being more Change the verb form
stands
effecient
. Take commercial Correct your spelling
efficient
drivers
in Vietnam, for example
, these people usually have to take a North-South trip to transfer products. With
Change preposition
This
this
type of driving
trip requires Add a comma
driving,
serveral
conditions Correct your spelling
several
on
Change preposition
for
drivers
such
as staying awake in
long periods of time, if they want to minimise the Change preposition
for
duaration
of the trips, and Correct your spelling
duration
remaning
Correct your spelling
remaining
a
good health as well. Remove the article
apply
This
cannot be the case sometimes, as a human being
, people cannot stay sober or not Fix the agreement mistake
beings
being
flu all the time, Unnecessary verb
apply
also
means they do not work without Correct pronoun usage
which also
interrupt
. Replace the word
interruption
As a result
, driverless
cars will make this
comes
true. The Correct subject-verb agreement
come
transferring
will be Replace the word
transfer
more
faster and denser in the future.
In conclusion, all cars even personal or commercial ones will be Change the word
apply
driverless
in the future, although
this
can cause the old drivers
face
a scenario of Add the particle
to face
loosing
their jobs, I firmly assert that the working flow will be smoother and more Replace the word
losing
effecient
.Correct your spelling
efficient
Submitted by vinhange on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should provide a clear overview of your opinion and the main ideas you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
You need to make sure that your main points are well-developed and supported with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
You should include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas are mostly relevant to the topic, but you should try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion with clear progression of ideas and appropriate use of linking devices.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is fairly varied and appropriate for the task. Try to use more specific and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
You have some errors in your grammar, including verb tense and word order. Proofread your essay carefully to correct these errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.