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Band 6

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
In recent years, there has been a development in so many various aspects, and
in particular
, we have witnessed major advances in agriculture. Despite
this
, so many
people
 around the world, still go hungry, and famine is a natural thing. So, the question is what has caused
this
 situation? And is there anything we can do about
this
 matter? In
this
 essay, I’m going to discuss. In my opinion, the reason
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
behind
this
 is
unfair
Correct article usage
the unfair
show examples
 division of resources in the hands of some limited
people
. As we can see, a huge amount of money is stuck in a chain of businessmen who squander overtly, and
on the other hand
, there are some
people
 in Africa or other poor parts of the world, who are extremely pauper, and they don’t even have access to the necessities of life.
Although
 some strategies like taking tax are applied, it is not
well-enough
Correct your spelling
well enough
show examples
 for the huge injustice between these two parts. Personally, I believe we have to accept our responsibility, and as much as we can, make
contribution
Add an article
a contribution
show examples
 to
people
 in need. We have to bear in mind that, helping is not only giving money, but we can aid by teaching,
increasing
Correct word choice
and increasing
show examples
 their level of knowledge and hygiene.
In addition
 to
this
, we can work on social spaces, and inform
people
 about
this
 condition. We can
also
, organize some campaigns, and gather some conservative
people
 from all
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 the world. To put it in a nutshell, there are so many social,
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
, political and even historical reasons behind
this
, and by informing groups, and supporting these poor
people
 as much as we can, we will be able to take part in
this
 procedure and make a difference slightly.
Submitted by mehrasa.elahian on

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task response
Expand on the reasons behind the unfair division of resources and provide more evidence to support your claim.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are connected and flow smoothly throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and incorporate more academic words.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure the correct use of grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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