Television dominates the free time for too many people It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others Do you agree or disagree Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#television #time #people #reason

this

era,

television

plays an essential role in the globe.

helps to provide news channels, entertainment

videos

cartoons

for

children

. To

the

Correct article usage

show examples

larger extent, I agree with

this

statement that it makes

people

lazy and

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not allow citizens to socialize with others but the other side cannot be neglected and I will give my reasons in-depth in subsequent paragraphs

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Lastly

Add a comma

Lastly,

show examples

I will come to a logical conclusion

To begin

with, the

is a widely used

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

machine in every individual house and it is really an important aspect. Despite

this

, watching

television

the whole day makes humans lazy and inactive or prevents them from interacting with others. To elaborate,

children

watching

after school is not good for their mental and physical health because it affects their skills and eyes and kids should go out in the evening and play physical games rather than watch

cartoons

videos

People

should

also

make a schedule to watch

television

so they can manage their

time

and do some exercise or spend quality

time

with friends and family.

For instance

, a survey was conducted in my college that students who watch

television

the whole day are affected by their learning ability and are unable to memorise their work completely and they score fewer marks than students who watch

television

for a limited period of

time

Moreover

Television

also

prevents

people

from interacting with other citizens because individuals are jubilant in watching entertainment

videos

cartoons

and many more. To explicate, human beings watch

television

for longer periods of

time

and become

habit

Add an article

a habit

the habit

show examples

of watching it rather than socialising with others because it leads to a sedentary lifestyle.

Secondly

television

also

provides educational

videos

for kids and

people

and

television

is the source of information because journalist provides news there .

On the other hand

now days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

television

is an important device for

children

and for

people

because what is going on in the nation can be known through

television

and

people

can see news,

cartoons

, and

videos

according to

their tastes and preferences.

Hence

individuals should make proper

time

to watch

television

it will help in their lifestyle to become successful.

Conclusion

Change preposition

In conclusion

show examples

is really an important device and

children

or adults can learn a lot of information on

television

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there should be a proper schedule

to watch

Change preposition

for watching

show examples

television

and

interacting

Wrong verb form

interact

show examples

with other

people

because it will enhance their soft skills and their personalities.

Submitted by samanjot88476 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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task response

Expand on your points and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more coherently and use linking expressions to connect your paragraphs.

lexical resource

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grammatical range

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

409 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

dominates
lazy
prevents
socializing
entertainment
sedentary
lifestyle
limits
interaction
educational
source of information
tool
balanced approach
positive impact
negative impact

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Television dominates the free time for too many people It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others Do you agree or disagree Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increasing prevalence of convenience food will lead to traditional method of cooking disappearing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise cannot be returned.

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

(VMN)Robots and artificial intelligent are being developed to replace human in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?