Television dominates the free time for too many people It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others Do you agree or disagree Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In
this
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era,
television
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plays an essential role in the globe.
TV
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helps to provide news channels, entertainment
videos
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or
cartoons
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for
children
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. To
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
larger extent, I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement that it makes
people
Use synonyms
lazy and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not allow citizens to socialize with others but the other side cannot be neglected and I will give my reasons in-depth in subsequent paragraphs
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
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I will come to a logical conclusion
To begin
Linking Words
with, the
TV
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is a widely used
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machine in every individual house and it is really an important aspect. Despite
this
Linking Words
, watching
television
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the whole day makes humans lazy and inactive or prevents them from interacting with others. To elaborate,
children
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watching
TV
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after school is not good for their mental and physical health because it affects their skills and eyes and kids should go out in the evening and play physical games rather than watch
cartoons
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or
videos
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on
TV
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.
People
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should
also
Linking Words
make a schedule to watch
television
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so they can manage their
time
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and do some exercise or spend quality
time
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with friends and family.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey was conducted in my college that students who watch
television
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the whole day are affected by their learning ability and are unable to memorise their work completely and they score fewer marks than students who watch
television
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for a limited period of
time
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Television
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also
Linking Words
prevents
people
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from interacting with other citizens because individuals are jubilant in watching entertainment
videos
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,
cartoons
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and many more. To explicate, human beings watch
television
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for longer periods of
time
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and become
habit
Add an article
a habit
the habit
show examples
of watching it rather than socialising with others because it leads to a sedentary lifestyle.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
television
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also
Linking Words
provides educational
videos
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for kids and
people
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and
television
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is the source of information because journalist provides news there .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
television
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is an important device for
children
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and for
people
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because what is going on in the nation can be known through
television
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and
people
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can see news,
cartoons
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, and
videos
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according to
Linking Words
their tastes and preferences.
Hence
Linking Words
individuals should make proper
time
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to watch
television
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it will help in their lifestyle to become successful.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
,
TV
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is really an important device and
children
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or adults can learn a lot of information on
television
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and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there should be a proper schedule
to watch
Change preposition
for watching
show examples
television
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and
interacting
Wrong verb form
interact
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with other
people
Use synonyms
because it will enhance their soft skills and their personalities.
Submitted by samanjot88476 on

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task response
Expand on your points and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more coherently and use linking expressions to connect your paragraphs.
lexical resource
Increase the range of vocabulary used and aim for more precise word choices.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dominates
  • lazy
  • prevents
  • socializing
  • entertainment
  • sedentary
  • lifestyle
  • limits
  • interaction
  • educational
  • source of information
  • tool
  • balanced approach
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
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