Television dominates the free time for too many people It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others Do you agree or disagree Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In
this
era,
television
plays an essential role in the globe.
TV
helps to provide news channels, entertainment
videos
or
cartoons
for
children
. To
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
larger extent, I agree with
this
statement that it makes
people
lazy and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not allow citizens to socialize with others but the other side cannot be neglected and I will give my reasons in-depth in subsequent paragraphs
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
I will come to a logical conclusion
To begin
with, the
TV
is a widely used
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machine in every individual house and it is really an important aspect. Despite
this
, watching
television
the whole day makes humans lazy and inactive or prevents them from interacting with others. To elaborate,
children
watching
TV
after school is not good for their mental and physical health because it affects their skills and eyes and kids should go out in the evening and play physical games rather than watch
cartoons
or
videos
on
TV
.
People
should
also
make a schedule to watch
television
so they can manage their
time
and do some exercise or spend quality
time
with friends and family.
For instance
, a survey was conducted in my college that students who watch
television
the whole day are affected by their learning ability and are unable to memorise their work completely and they score fewer marks than students who watch
television
for a limited period of
time
.
Moreover
,
Television
also
prevents
people
from interacting with other citizens because individuals are jubilant in watching entertainment
videos
,
cartoons
and many more. To explicate, human beings watch
television
for longer periods of
time
and become
habit
Add an article
a habit
the habit
show examples
of watching it rather than socialising with others because it leads to a sedentary lifestyle.
Secondly
,
television
also
provides educational
videos
for kids and
people
and
television
is the source of information because journalist provides news there .
On the other hand
,
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
television
is an important device for
children
and for
people
because what is going on in the nation can be known through
television
and
people
can see news,
cartoons
, and
videos
according to
their tastes and preferences.
Hence
individuals should make proper
time
to watch
television
it will help in their lifestyle to become successful.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
,
TV
is really an important device and
children
or adults can learn a lot of information on
television
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there should be a proper schedule
to watch
Change preposition
for watching
show examples
television
and
interacting
Wrong verb form
interact
show examples
with other
people
because it will enhance their soft skills and their personalities.
Submitted by samanjot88476 on

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task response
Expand on your points and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more coherently and use linking expressions to connect your paragraphs.
lexical resource
Increase the range of vocabulary used and aim for more precise word choices.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dominates
  • lazy
  • prevents
  • socializing
  • entertainment
  • sedentary
  • lifestyle
  • limits
  • interaction
  • educational
  • source of information
  • tool
  • balanced approach
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
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