In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only. know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

#people #villages #cities #area #community

earlier period,

the

Correct article usage

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number of individuals stayed

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tiny villages where everybody knew each other. Total

people

stay in big cities where they are just acquainted with a number of individuals in their area.

This

trend includes both pros and cons, which will be discussed in

this

essay. The trend to live in a small community brings some benefits.

fisrt

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First

people

can be

stronger

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a stronger

the stronger

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relationship.

for

Capitalize word

For

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example, everyone in

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the neighborhood

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neighborhood

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neighbourhood

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ready to help each other when their

neighborhood

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neighbourhood

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hold a party or ceremony.

Also

,everyone lives very happily and gets on well with together.

Second,

most

people

are willing to

assistant

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assist

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when they have troubles or problems in life.

Neighbors

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Neighbours

show examples

will give some advice and solutions when one of them cannot deal with difficulties in life . The

last

one,

people

will learn from experiences and take responsibility after they argue.

However

, living in a tiny society is not completely

benefit

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beneficial

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, there are several negative effects that should be taken into consideration. The first reason for

this

maybe

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may be

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relationships because they cannot expand and get

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touch with society. they could not learn from other

people

in other communities. another reason can relate to

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

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of privacy. if one of them has a secret, they cannot keep

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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secret since their

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

want

Change the verb form

wants

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to know that secret. The

last

reason is everybody

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does

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not update important news or notifications of large community so they will miss necessary things.

Inconclusion

Correct your spelling

In conclusion

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although

many

people

live in a small society bring some good sides because of

bond-relationship

Correct article usage

the bond-relationship

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which help

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help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

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and

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

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more experiences.

This

tendency could

also

lack of privacy, cannot extend and get on with

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

, which should be carefully considered.

Submitted by vuhien4397 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are not clearly presented. Make sure to provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.

coherence cohesion

Provide more supporting details and examples to strengthen your main points.

task achievement

Make sure to address all aspects of the given topic. Your response is not fully complete.

task achievement

Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Some of your points are not clearly explained.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar. There are some errors and awkward phrases in your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sense of community
Bond
Close-knit
Tight-knit
Belonging
Familiarity
Security
Support system
Social connections
Look out for
Have someone's back

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In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only. know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, the comsumption of fast food is increasing. Why is that happen ? disadvantage of this trend . provide examples and support your opion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

A friend has invited you to a birthday party, but you will be able to attend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Thank your friend for the invitation Explain why you won’t be able to attend Suggest another time to see your friend.

In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but donot work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?