In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only. know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

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earlier period,
the
Correct article usage
a
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number of individuals stayed
at
Change preposition
in
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tiny villages where everybody knew each other. Total
people
Use synonyms
stay in big cities where they are just acquainted with a number of individuals in their area.
This
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trend includes both pros and cons, which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. The trend to live in a small community brings some benefits.
fisrt
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First
,
people
Use synonyms
can be
stronger
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a stronger
the stronger
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relationship.
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for
Capitalize word
For
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example, everyone in
Add an article
the neighborhood
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neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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ready to help each other when their
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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hold a party or ceremony.
Also
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,everyone lives very happily and gets on well with together.
Second,
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most
people
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are willing to
assistant
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assist
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when they have troubles or problems in life.
Neighbors
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Neighbours
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will give some advice and solutions when one of them cannot deal with difficulties in life . The
last
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one,
people
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will learn from experiences and take responsibility after they argue.
However
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, living in a tiny society is not completely
benefit
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beneficial
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, there are several negative effects that should be taken into consideration. The first reason for
this
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maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
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relationships because they cannot expand and get
on
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in
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touch with society. they could not learn from other
people
Use synonyms
in other communities. another reason can relate to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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of privacy. if one of them has a secret, they cannot keep
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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secret since their
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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want
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wants
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to know that secret. The
last
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reason is everybody
do
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does
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not update important news or notifications of large community so they will miss necessary things.
Inconclusion
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In conclusion
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,
although
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
live in a small society bring some good sides because of
bond-relationship
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the bond-relationship
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,
Correct pronoun usage
which help
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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more experiences.
This
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tendency could
also
Linking Words
lack of privacy, cannot extend and get on with
community
Add an article
the community
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, which should be carefully considered.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not clearly presented. Make sure to provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Provide more supporting details and examples to strengthen your main points.
task achievement
Make sure to address all aspects of the given topic. Your response is not fully complete.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Some of your points are not clearly explained.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar. There are some errors and awkward phrases in your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sense of community
  • Bond
  • Close-knit
  • Tight-knit
  • Belonging
  • Familiarity
  • Security
  • Support system
  • Social connections
  • Look out for
  • Have someone's back
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