IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or out of season some people consider it a good idea, some are not. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#aircraft #transport #fruit #vegetables #countries #plants #season #people #idea
A controversial discussion point is whether
fruit
 and
vegetables
 should be transported by
aircraft
 to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries
 that hardly grow or
out
Add a missing verb
are out
show examples
 of season. I contended that the
export
 will ensure
food
 needs and support
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
 development of agricultural
countries
 contributing to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
inflation
 and inventory situation, despite those who believe that it
costs
 a lot of money during transport and
susceptible
Add a missing verb
is susceptible
show examples
 to damage from spoiled
food
 with preservation
costs
. It must be acknowledged that
fruit
 and
vegetables
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
food
 that
vital
Add a missing verb
are vital
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 life because of their benefits
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 health and the improvement of
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
. Extensive research has consistently shown that exporting
is handle
Wrong verb form
handles
show examples
 the problem of wasting
food
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot be sold,
Correct word choice
and support
show examples
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 farmers and agricultural
countries
develop
Wrong verb form
in developing
show examples
 their
economic
Replace the word
economies
show examples
. By implementing an
export
, governments can avoid
food
 shortages in the country,
simultaneously
Correct word choice
and simultaneously
show examples
 contribute
in decrease
Change preposition
to decreasing
show examples
inflation
. In 2019, there were estimated to be more than thousands of
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
show examples
while
 some
countries
 near that do not have
fruit
 and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 to sell because of
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic.
Thus
, the
necessity
Correct article usage
a necessity
show examples
 to enhancement the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
food
 needs.
However
, critics
justifying
Wrong verb form
justify
show examples
 that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
aircraft
Change preposition
of aircraft
show examples
 to transport
fruit
 and
vegetables
costs
 too much
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 a lot of money in preservation and
susceptible
Add a missing verb
is susceptible
show examples
 to damage from spoiled
food
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shipment. They argue that
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
aircraft
 need to pay many sort of tax and circulation fee,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 sometimes
costs
 more than the income of
export
,
while
 they can have risks if that
food
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not preserved right and make a shipment spoiled.
This
 is a credible point, but people can preserve their
fruit
 and
vegetables
 in
freezer
Add an article
the freezer
show examples
 compartment or in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environment
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
 high concentration of
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
.
Consequently
,
these resolve
Change the determiner
this resolve
these resolves
show examples
 can enhance the quality of
food
 but not prices much, suitable for poor
countries
 and friendly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. The writer’s opinion advocates that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
aircraft
Change preposition
of aircraft
show examples
 to transport
food
 can reduce
inflation
 and inventory situation.
In other words
,
food
 is very difficult to preserve, and if the country has too much in a type of fruits and
vegetables
, the prices will be decreased,
whereas
others
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
have
short
Replace the word
shortage
show examples
 of fruits will make the prices
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
unequal
Correct article usage
an unequal
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
As a result
, it can waste
food
, make the environment
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
polluted and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the ability in
inflation
.
While
 critics argue that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
aircraft
Change preposition
of aircraft
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
costs
 a lot of money and should
be restrict
Change the verb form
be restricted
show examples
, proponents including myself emphasize that has many benefits with the development of a country that
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on husbandry.
Therefore
, it should have been shown that
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 play an important role in
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and should be banned.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to state your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific main point and provides supporting details and examples.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve the overall clarity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: