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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or out of season some people consider it a good idea, some are not. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#aircraft #transport #fruit #vegetables #countries #plants #season #people #idea
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A controversial discussion point is whether
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 should be transported by
aircraft
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 to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 that hardly grow or
out
Add a missing verb
are out
show examples
 of season. I contended that the
export
Use synonyms
 will ensure
food
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 needs and support
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
 development of agricultural
countries
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 contributing to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
inflation
Use synonyms
 and inventory situation, despite those who believe that it
costs
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 a lot of money during transport and
susceptible
Add a missing verb
is susceptible
show examples
 to damage from spoiled
food
Use synonyms
 with preservation
costs
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. It must be acknowledged that
fruit
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 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
food
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 that
vital
Add a missing verb
are vital
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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 life because of their benefits
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 health and the improvement of
body
Add an article
the body
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. Extensive research has consistently shown that exporting
is handle
Wrong verb form
handles
show examples
 the problem of wasting
food
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot be sold,
Correct word choice
and support
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support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 farmers and agricultural
countries
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develop
Wrong verb form
in developing
show examples
 their
economic
Replace the word
economies
show examples
. By implementing an
export
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, governments can avoid
food
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 shortages in the country,
simultaneously
Correct word choice
and simultaneously
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 contribute
in decrease
Change preposition
to decreasing
show examples
inflation
Use synonyms
. In 2019, there were estimated to be more than thousands of
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
show examples
while
Linking Words
 some
countries
Use synonyms
 near that do not have
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 to sell because of
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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 pandemic.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
necessity
Correct article usage
a necessity
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 to enhancement the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 needs.
However
Linking Words
, critics
justifying
Wrong verb form
justify
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
Use synonyms
aircraft
Change preposition
of aircraft
show examples
 to transport
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
costs
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 too much
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 a lot of money in preservation and
susceptible
Add a missing verb
is susceptible
show examples
 to damage from spoiled
food
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shipment. They argue that
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
aircraft
Use synonyms
 need to pay many sort of tax and circulation fee,
that
Correct word choice
which
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 sometimes
costs
Use synonyms
 more than the income of
export
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,
while
Linking Words
 they can have risks if that
food
Use synonyms
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not preserved right and make a shipment spoiled.
This
Linking Words
 is a credible point, but people can preserve their
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 in
freezer
Add an article
the freezer
show examples
 compartment or in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environment
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
 high concentration of
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
these resolve
Change the determiner
this resolve
these resolves
show examples
 can enhance the quality of
food
Use synonyms
 but not prices much, suitable for poor
countries
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 and friendly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. The writer’s opinion advocates that
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
Use synonyms
aircraft
Change preposition
of aircraft
show examples
 to transport
food
Use synonyms
 can reduce
inflation
Use synonyms
 and inventory situation.
In other words
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
 is very difficult to preserve, and if the country has too much in a type of fruits and
vegetables
Use synonyms
, the prices will be decreased,
whereas
Linking Words
others
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
have
short
Replace the word
shortage
show examples
 of fruits will make the prices
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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can
Correct word choice
and can
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causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
unequal
Correct article usage
an unequal
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can waste
food
Use synonyms
, make the environment
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
polluted and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the ability in
inflation
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 critics argue that
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
Use synonyms
aircraft
Change preposition
of aircraft
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
costs
Use synonyms
 a lot of money and should
be restrict
Change the verb form
be restricted
show examples
, proponents including myself emphasize that has many benefits with the development of a country that
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on husbandry.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should have been shown that
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 play an important role in
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and should be banned.
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coherence cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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