with the increasing prevalence of sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits, obesity has become a major health problem in many countries. What factors contribute to this issue, and what actions can individuals and governments take to address it?

#prevalence #lifestyles #habits #obesity #health #countries #factors #actions #individuals #governments #address

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There is no denying the fact that

obesity

Use synonyms

has increased and become a crucial health issue in many countries.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss factors that contribute to

this

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trend and suggest actions that can be taken by individuals and governments to solve

this

Linking Words

problem.

To begin

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with, there are many factors that contribute

for

Change preposition

show examples

increasing

obesity

Use synonyms

Firstly

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, fast

food

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restaurants are the biggest factor

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show examples

this

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issue.

In other words

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, delivery apps and restaurants' offers lead

people

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to eat fast

food

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every day.

In addition

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, culture plays a crucial role in societies.

For example

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, Middle Eastern countries like Saudi Arabia and Qatar have had a high average of

obesity

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because of the wrong customs of societies. In terms of solutions, restaurants can make offers for healthy diets to encourage

people

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to eat

food

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that contains vitamins. It is

also

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possible to say that if

people

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start eating healthy

food

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, a lot of diseases will decrease

such

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as concern and blood pressure problems.

Moreover

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ministry

Correct article usage

the ministry

show examples

health

Capitalize word

Health

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should increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

awareness of the problems of

obesity

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For instance

Linking Words

this

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will lead countries to save the

Capitalize word

Ministry

show examples

ministry

Capitalize word

Ministry

show examples

Capitalize word

Health's

show examples

health's

Capitalize word

Health's

show examples

budget and they can be used in other sectors. In conclusion, there are many things that cause

obesity

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like eating fast

food

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and the absence of a healthy culture. It is

also

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true that governments can encourage

people

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to be healthier and individuals should alter their lifestyle.

Submitted by fatemah221027 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Develop your main points more thoroughly and provide more supporting evidence and examples.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion clearly present the main ideas and provide a summary of the essay.

lexical resource

Improve your range of vocabulary by using more diverse and precise terms related to the topic.

grammatical range

Work on your sentence structures to vary your writing and avoid repetitive patterns.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalence
sedentary lifestyles
unhealthy eating habits
obesity
major health problem
factors
contribute to
issue
actions
individuals
governments
address
lack of physical activity
genetic factors
socioeconomic status
regular exercise
balanced diet
portion control
healthy snacking
awareness programs
promoting
active lifestyles
regulating
food advertising
parks
recreational facilities
implementing
school health programs
taxing
unhealthy foods

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with the increasing prevalence of sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits, obesity has become a major health problem in many countries. What factors contribute to this issue, and what actions can individuals and governments take to address it?

Word Count

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many manfactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which casues many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?