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Band 3.5

with the increasing prevalence of sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits, obesity has become a major health problem in many countries. What factors contribute to this issue, and what actions can individuals and governments take to address it?

#prevalence #lifestyles #habits #obesity #health #countries #factors #actions #individuals #governments #address
There is no denying the fact that
obesity
 has increased and become a crucial health issue in many countries.
This
 essay will discuss factors that contribute to
this
 trend and suggest actions that can be taken by individuals and governments to solve
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, there are many factors that contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 increasing
obesity
.
Firstly
, fast
food
 restaurants are the biggest factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 issue.
In other words
, delivery apps and restaurants' offers lead
people
 to eat fast
food
 every day.
In addition
, culture plays a crucial role in societies.
For example
, Middle Eastern countries like Saudi Arabia and Qatar have had a high average of
obesity
 because of the wrong customs of societies. In terms of solutions, restaurants can make offers for healthy diets to encourage
people
 to eat
food
 that contains vitamins. It is
also
 possible to say that if
people
 start eating healthy
food
, a lot of diseases will decrease
such
 as concern and blood pressure problems.
Moreover
,
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry
show examples
 of
health
Capitalize word
Health
show examples
 should increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness of the problems of
obesity
.
For instance
,
this
 will lead countries to save the
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
 of
Capitalize word
Health's
show examples
health's
Capitalize word
Health's
show examples
 budget and they can be used in other sectors. In conclusion, there are many things that cause
obesity
 like eating fast
food
 and the absence of a healthy culture. It is
also
 true that governments can encourage
people
 to be healthier and individuals should alter their lifestyle.
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly and provide more supporting evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion clearly present the main ideas and provide a summary of the essay.
lexical resource
Improve your range of vocabulary by using more diverse and precise terms related to the topic.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structures to vary your writing and avoid repetitive patterns.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • obesity
  • major health problem
  • factors
  • contribute to
  • issue
  • actions
  • individuals
  • governments
  • address
  • lack of physical activity
  • genetic factors
  • socioeconomic status
  • regular exercise
  • balanced diet
  • portion control
  • healthy snacking
  • awareness programs
  • promoting
  • active lifestyles
  • regulating
  • food advertising
  • parks
  • recreational facilities
  • implementing
  • school health programs
  • taxing
  • unhealthy foods
What to do next:
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