Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern era, the amount of time
spent watching television and playing electronic games
by children has been increasing dramatically. In my opinion, spending too much time
watching movies or playing video games
has detrimental effects on children’s mental and physical well-being.
On the one hand, I strongly believe that allocating excessive amounts of time
to electronic devices and television may lead to several significant health problems. In other words
, being stuck behind a desk playing games
may result in a sedentary lifestyle which brings physical diseases such
as obesity. From a psychological perspective, some video games
are programmed to manipulate children’s brains, therefore
, they are more likely to suffer from mental problems, namely depression and delay in learning. Furthermore
, being obsessed with such
cutting-edge devices has an adverse effect on their school performance. To clarify, students who spend most of their time
surfing the web or watching movies, do not have enough attention and time
to accomplish their school’s assignments. Consequently
, they may lose marks in their exams and fall behind their peers.
On the other hand
, some people claim that watching a lot of TV programs and playing computer games
help kids to increase their knowledge. They firmly insist that such
platforms can broaden youngsters’ horizons as well as
cultivate their creativity and innovation. However
, I do not find this
argument convincing as such
habits have destructive influences rather than constructive ones. As a result
, parents not only should monitor the amount of time
their kids spend on such
gadgets but also
they should have close observation of the contents of the programs. Research findings confirm that preschool pupils who are familiar with technological software will have better interpersonal skills as well as
problem-solving abilities in the future.
In conclusion, I completely agree that spending too much time
on computerized games
and watching television has negative effects on children’s mental health because they are not only deprived of a normal life but also
develop a habit which causes numerous psychological illnesses.Submitted by shabnam.sohanian on
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Introduction
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Task Achievement
Your essay develops a clear argument throughout, effectively presenting the negative impacts of excessive screen time on children. To improve task achievement, ensure every paragraph directly supports your thesis with clear, relevant examples. While the hypothetical impacts are discussed, including specific studies or statistics could enhance your argument's credibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow. To strengthen coherence, use a wider range of linking phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next by using introductory sentences that signal the direction of your argument.
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