Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern era, the amount of Linking Words
time
spent watching television and playing electronic Use synonyms
games
by children has been increasing dramatically. In my opinion, spending too much Use synonyms
time
watching movies or playing video Use synonyms
games
has detrimental effects on children’s mental and physical well-being.
On the one hand, I strongly believe that allocating excessive amounts of Use synonyms
time
to electronic devices and television may lead to several significant health problems. Use synonyms
In other words
, being stuck behind a desk playing Linking Words
games
may result in a sedentary lifestyle which brings physical diseases Use synonyms
such
as obesity. From a psychological perspective, some video Linking Words
games
are programmed to manipulate children’s brains, Use synonyms
therefore
, they are more likely to suffer from mental problems, namely depression and delay in learning. Linking Words
Furthermore
, being obsessed with Linking Words
such
cutting-edge devices has an adverse effect on their school performance. To clarify, students who spend most of their Linking Words
time
surfing the web or watching movies, do not have enough attention and Use synonyms
time
to accomplish their school’s assignments. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they may lose marks in their exams and fall behind their peers.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some people claim that watching a lot of TV programs and playing computer Linking Words
games
help kids to increase their knowledge. They firmly insist that Use synonyms
such
platforms can broaden youngsters’ horizons Linking Words
as well as
cultivate their creativity and innovation. Linking Words
However
, I do not find Linking Words
this
argument convincing as Linking Words
such
habits have destructive influences rather than constructive ones. Linking Words
As a result
, parents not only should monitor the amount of Linking Words
time
their kids spend on Use synonyms
such
gadgets but Linking Words
also
they should have close observation of the contents of the programs. Research findings confirm that preschool pupils who are familiar with technological software will have better interpersonal skills Linking Words
as well as
problem-solving abilities in the future.
In conclusion, I completely agree that spending too much Linking Words
time
on computerized Use synonyms
games
and watching television has negative effects on children’s mental health because they are not only deprived of a normal life but Use synonyms
also
develop a habit which causes numerous psychological illnesses.Linking Words
Submitted by shabnam.sohanian on
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Introduction
A thorough introduction is presented, but more concise wording could make your introduction sharper. Aim to introduce your argument and how you will discuss it in fewer sentences to create a more striking opening.
Task Achievement
Your essay develops a clear argument throughout, effectively presenting the negative impacts of excessive screen time on children. To improve task achievement, ensure every paragraph directly supports your thesis with clear, relevant examples. While the hypothetical impacts are discussed, including specific studies or statistics could enhance your argument's credibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow. To strengthen coherence, use a wider range of linking phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next by using introductory sentences that signal the direction of your argument.