Some people think imported food exerts positive impacts on our lives. To what exent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
food
is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
part of our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
While
it is a commonly held
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that, what you eat
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
your
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
whether it is now or after a long time, there is
also
an argument
Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
show examples
opposes
Wrong verb form
opposing
show examples
it. I consider that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the more you care about your
food
the more you save your
health
.
To begin
with, our physical
health
is a huge part of our daily life.
Therefore
,
awarening
Correct your spelling
awareness
of what you eat is essential
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
, because we see multiple unhealthy choices everywhere.
In addition
, the effect of our meal
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
directly in our body,
health
, and energy.
For example
, a study from many universities said that the majority of diabetes causes is eating a lot of fast
food
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age. Another point to consider, the most effective thing is our lifestyle, because it is the only way we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
help or hurt ourselves
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. It is
also
possible to say that, our daily routine
such
as sleep time or vitamins that we take has a significant impact in
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
or short time, and
this
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
of many
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
.
Thus
, when we
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
our awareness toward
this
side of our body could save our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
, if we see all the Patients
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
tough
health
issues, we will notice that the main common thing between all of them is their
food
. In conclusion, despite people having different views,
however
, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
increasing our knowledge
toward
Change preposition
of
show examples
our meals should be the main goal
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in
this
modern life.
Submitted by rayan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: