the chart below shows the different levels of post-schools qualifications in Australia and the porportion of men and wemen who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.

the chart below shows the different levels of post-schools qualifications in Australia and the porportion of men and wemen who held them in 1999.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The following bar chart compares various levels of post-school qualifications in both genders during 1999 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, most men were qualified
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
while
Linking Words
the highest percentage of women were educated
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
undergraduate
Add an article
an undergraduate
show examples
diploma
Use synonyms
. A striking
difference
Use synonyms
between the percentage rate was noticed in vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
among males and females, reaching almost 100% and just above 10% respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the education
apon
Correct your spelling
upon
postgraduate
Correct article usage
the postgraduate
show examples
diploma
Use synonyms
and master's
degree
Use synonyms
followed the same trend, as men had the highest proportion (70%). The same pattern was followed by master's
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
, but with
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
bigger
difference
Use synonyms
between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, 60% and 40% respectively. In undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
and bachelor's
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
women seemed to be educated twice as % men, 70% and 35%. In bachelor's
degree
Use synonyms
meanwhile,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had the smallest
difference
Use synonyms
from all other post-school
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
, regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
gender types, as the
difference
Use synonyms
was less than %, with
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
reaching well above 50%.
Submitted by nikoletta.louka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words diploma, difference, degree with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: