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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future readers or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer. (500)

#individuals #future #readers #influencers #home #countries #requirement #leadership #skills #support
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“Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of members. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish.”
This
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 is my notion about leadership and the outstanding leader, that’s me. I have 16 lovely
students
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 in my classroom, including two
students
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 with learning difficulties and with autism. One of these
students
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 had a difficult time adjusting to
school
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 life.
Last
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 year I heard that she would run away from
school
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, hitting
students
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 and teachers when she is angry. As
such
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, her classmates did not like her and she was isolated. In order to ease tension and break barriers, I started a range of activities
such
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 as cooking, painting, and engaging games.
Moreover
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, I made sure to recognise her development by praising her
as well as
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 guiding her in the right direction. Her behaviour has improved dramatically, now she is much calmer and does not run out of
school
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 anymore. I succeeded in helping her
love
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school
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. I believe that I lead my classroom successfully because we share common values of respect,
love
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, and growth. In 2021, I led a business named Green Smart
School
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 at my work. It is a business that aims to change schools into innovative spaces. I organised insight tours to watch role models of innovative spaces. I gathered the
opinions
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 of
students
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, teachers, parents, and the local community commissioners on ways they wanted to change the
school
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 and over the span of two years I was able to implement all of them. There were times when each other had different
opinions
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. Whenever they do it, we think about the pros and cons of
opinions
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 and I lead them to make an optimal choice. In 2022, I discussed with the education office and construction companies whether the decisions on construction were appropriate.
Finally
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, my
school
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 started to tear down the building and construct a new innovative
school
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. My passion for influencing people to grow and develop is what drove me to become a teacher. Half of my
students
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 do not have parents and live in the orphanage. I try to take care of them with
love
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 because I can see their fear of not being loved. Recently, I was invited to the annual festival held by the city’s orphanage, I will never forget what I heard from one student “Thank you for caring for me with
love
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, teacher, I will always be with you when you are sad or happy. I
love
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 you so much, too.” I am a person who is qualified to lead with the proven ability to understand other people’s feelings and communicate with empathy in order to drive impact. I learned how to collect the
opinions
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 of members and moved toward the goal by leading my critical regional initiatives at
school
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. I’m a suitable person to receive the Chevening scholarship because I can influence positively and make an impact not only for myself but for those around me and
to
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for
show examples
 my countless future
students
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.
Submitted by soyuyu9 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be more focused on addressing the prompt directly.
task achievement
You have provided clear, relevant and well-supported examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is effective and appropriate for the task.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are some minor errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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