IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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One of the discussed issues nowadays is the rise in the minimum
age
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 for driving transport. Some
people
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 believe it will light up the
road
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 safety of society. Meanwhile, some think it does not need changes or improvements.
This
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 essay will give some reasons why I agree with
this
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 statement. The administration needs to glow minimum
age
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 of the drivers. In most of the country,
people
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 who are under 20 , have more vehicle crashes than the public who are over 20. In percentage that counts 70% of the
overall
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. In
this
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 case, if
people
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 start driving not after 18 and will be prepared a little more, like to 21, the safety of
this
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 government will increase.
For example
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, in England, individuals can have their license only after they are born 21.
Therefore
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,
this
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 country has the lowest level of accidents on the
road
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.
Furthermore
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, most
people
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 at a young
age
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 do not care about rules on the
road
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. By the
last
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 information, in many countries, the public can drive motorbikes starting from
age
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 16. In that case, the number of motorbikers who do not follow the rules is more than other types of transport crime. A lot of countries now face
this
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 problem.
Such
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 as in the USA, where teenagers can drive bikes after middle classes. It rocket danger on the
road
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 of
this
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 place. Taking into care all mentioned before, I come to the conclusion that rise legal
age
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 of younger is the best option between these 2 cases. It will improve the safety of the
road
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 and bring better follow of rules by travellers.

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task response
While your essay addresses the topic, it requires significant improvements in structure, clarity, and the development of your argument to satisfactorily complete the task. Ensure your opening paragraph introduces the topic clearly, stating your position. Expand your main ideas without repetition and stay focused on the topic throughout.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs clearer organization and better connection between ideas. Use a variety of linking words to improve flow and cohesion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support the central idea.
lexical resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and aim for precision in word choice to enhance the communicative quality of your writing. Be attentive to collocations and word formation to prevent meaning distortions.
grammatical range and accuracy
To achieve a higher score, demonstrate a broader range of grammatical structures and pay close attention to sentence formation. Avoid overly simplistic sentences and make efforts to correct persistent errors that can impede understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • cognitive skills
  • decision-making abilities
  • comprehensive driver education
  • unlicensed driving
  • economic implications
  • mobility
  • stricter enforcement
  • traffic laws
  • driver education
  • road accidents
  • mature and responsible
  • illegal driving
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