some people think saving money is good,others think that spending money is a better way to enjoy life.

pinions diverge when it comes to the question of which
approach
to spending
money
ensures a better
life
.
While
certain individuals advocate that saving
money
is beneficial as it gives a way out of uncertainties of
life
and provides a quality
life
, as opposing perspective emphasizes the significance of spending
money
as a more pleasurable way to enjoy
life
.
This
essay will explore both perspectives and present my own viewpoint. I firmly support the notion that saving
money
is a better
approach
.
This
viewpoint is substantiated by several compelling points. The viewpoint advocates that spending
money
, often championed by the crowd is not without merit. It certainly offers a superior lifestyle and spending
money
on experiences with loved ones, is worthless. People who prefer to save
money
, prefer to not enjoy
life
, not live
life
, but just survive. Keeping
money
in the bank account
while
working is not the ideal way to live, and it prevents individuals from comprehending the real meaning of
life
.
For instance
, it is not possible to know whether someone is granted a long or short existence, and
consequently
, whether there is
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
possibility to
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
the
money
that has been saved up. I have known many people in my country, who spent most of their existence giving up holidays or other pleasant moments in order to keep a significant sum for the years of retirement.
Then
they fell ill before that time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they lost the opportunity to really enjoy
life
. Paradoxically the concept of saving
money
is a relatively practical
approach
, and it has been ardently endorsed by people from various spheres of
life
. The efficacy of
this
approach
cannot be denied at any cost on practical grounds. Putting aside a sum of
money
systematically
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can help you steer out of many hurdles and obstacles in
life
.
For example
, recently in the USA
due to
the job recession, individuals faced a lot of financial problems,
however
, folks who survived out those who saved
money
.
To conclude
,
although
both stances have their own feasibility and viability, I believe that saving
money
is purely a beneficial and practical
approach
. And
therefore
, opponents' idea is a little absurd and less practical in its original context.
Submitted by mwadood82 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your own viewpoint on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Security
  • Freedom
  • Pursue dreams and goals
  • Emergency funds
  • Experiences
  • Enjoyment
  • Quality of life
  • Improving
  • Purchases
  • Supporting
  • Economy
  • Creating jobs
  • Balance
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