IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #life
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Nowadays, getting old is much different than before.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 assume that being
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 in the present world is totally bad,
while
Linking Words
 others argue the
oppisite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 seeing it more better than
older
Change preposition
in older
show examples
 days, i
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
partialy
Correct your spelling
partially
partial
 agree with the previous opinion for several reasons
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the following pragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, getting older these days makes you neglected by humans. once
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a particular age their productivity normally
getting
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
 lower.
Due to
Linking Words
 the speed of changes in the present world, it needs
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
constant work to have a value
makes
Correct pronoun usage
that makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
depending
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
 on them.
for example
Linking Words
, after old
people
Use synonyms
retirement
Replace the word
retire
show examples
, they lose
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, they could
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 from
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 at some times
due to
Linking Words
, the
busy
Replace the word
busyness
show examples
 of their known
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 being an elder in the modern world.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been more easier than
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 for old
people
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
, new technology and easy communication.
For instance
Linking Words
, now they can call their sons or even their friends at any time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their phone not just that, they can see each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 on it without
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the improvement in health
cares
Correct subject-verb agreement
care
show examples
 these days is much better than
befor
Correct your spelling
before
, which
conduct
Verb problem
results
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
,
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 resting
life
Use synonyms
 for them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
, being old in modern
life
Use synonyms
 could be harsh for a few individuals, it has a lot of cons that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 more easier and enjoyable for them from my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
.
Submitted by moaznashy123 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
What to do next:
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