People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that each individual should take care of their physical condition

instead

Linking Words

of their own profits in order to take responsibility for

society

Use synonyms

. Personally, I completely agree that minding our own health is more significant than the gained benefits. There are various reasons why I would argue against outweighing our own profits over our fitness as a duty to the

society

Use synonyms

where we live.

Firstly

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, it can be said with certainty that it would be a motivation to improve community healthcare. By

this

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, I mean that the population maintains both physical and mental strength, which leads to a reduction in the risk of obesity and related health issues.

Secondly

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, having a fit body would help them feel comfortable and energetic when doing social activities.

Finally

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, joining a team sport allows us to improve important skills,

such

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as communication and cooperation, which would link the community together. I believe that when each person knows how to take care of themselves, it would benefit the government in the financial aspect and provide more opportunities to develop the country. The main basis is probably because they would spend less money on preventing and curing illness if citizens could handle and tackle their well-being problems.

Consequently

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, the funds could be used for other purposes, like lifting out of poverty and investing in technological development.

For example

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, after the rate of sickness had decreased by the year 2022, Vietnam’s administration used savings to enhance residents’ daily lives, including transportation, communication, and subsistence. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the advantages of being responsible for our own fitness would benefit

society

Use synonyms

in a positive way. People should look after their health as a duty to the

society

Use synonyms

where they live, rather than for their own

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Submitted by miatr.work on Sun Oct 29 2023

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

duty
well-being
burden
healthcare systems
productive
economy
example
empower
informed choices

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People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books beacause they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe Sports creates competition among school children rather than cooperative Do you agree or disagree and give your opinion

In most countries, despite the benefits of cycling, fewer and fewer people are using bicycles as a means of transportation Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?