IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car

The charts show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car
#show #people #travel #work #bicycle #car
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The pie charts illustrate the different types of causes of
people
Use synonyms
 who are using
Use synonyms
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
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 or
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 to job.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen from the chart that,
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
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health and fitness and less pollution are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees prefer to use
Use synonyms
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, comfort is the main reason behind using
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
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 to commute.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, 13
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 consider no cost
while
Linking Words
 they are using
Use synonyms
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
show examples
. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 the least number of employees think cycling is faster than
car
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, which is 12
percent
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. When it comes to health and pollution,a large number of
people
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 prefer
Use synonyms
cycle
Add the particle
to cycle
show examples
, at 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 each. Only 15% think that using
Use synonyms
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
show examples
 is not a problem for parking.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in terms of using
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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 for commute distance is the second greatest chunk. It accounts for around one-fifth. Consideration of reaching faster than
cycle
Use synonyms
 and
needs
Wrong verb form
needing
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 to carry things to work remain same, which is 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The least number of
people
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 think it is safer than
cycle
Use synonyms
. To be precise 11
percent
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. The major reason why job holders use
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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for
Add a missing verb
is for
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 their comfort.
Submitted by shahinka.687 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cycle, car, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commute
  • sustainable
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • carbon footprint
  • fuel expenses
  • parking availability
  • gridlock
  • mass transit
  • individual choice
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