There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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Nowadays, different types of

music

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sounds are rising from all over the world

such

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as timeless classics, rock with harsh influences, rap the new trend of young people, pop which can somehow adapt itself to today’s world and many more.

This

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essay will explore how melody offers us different methods to express human emotions and the importance of folk melodies compared to foreign melodies.

To begin

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with,

music

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allows people to realize and express their feelings through chant. There are songs that express our emotions when we are in different conditions,

for example

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, when we are angry, joyful, in love or when we break up.

In other words

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, our feelings at that moment are put into lyrics so beautifully that the feeling we experience penetrates deep into us.

Moreover

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not only the song but

also

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the singer is very important to us in

this

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condition, their experiences, voice and history are

also

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passed on to us through the song.

In addition

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, today, as the power of social media increases, foreign

music

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is listened to as much as folk. Many of them can go beyond their own borders and become famous without even being popular in their own country.

Although

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local

music

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is surrounded by stricter rules at first glance,

it is clear that

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they are affected by the situation and their melodies are under revision. Many local songs are covered using different digital tools in a way that appeals to the new generation. In conclusion,

music

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will continue forever as an indispensable part of our lives and will continue to express the different feelings of all of us deep down. Whether local or foreign, will continue to interact with each other through

this

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process and influence each other

according to

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human emotions forever.

Submitted by salihzekikoni on Sun Oct 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure. Your paragraphs show some logical progression, but connecting ideas and arguments can be improved for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that introduction and conclusion are clear and they appropriately introduce and conclude the main topic. Your essay does have a recognizable introduction and conclusion, which is good.

coherence cohesion

Support main points with relevant examples or further explanation. Some paragraphs require more detailed support for the arguments presented.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task. While you did provide discussion on both the necessity of music and the importance of traditional versus international music, the essay could offer a deeper exploration of these areas.

task achievement

Convey ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively. Strive for greater clarity and development in your discussion points. Avoid general statements without direct relevance.

task achievement

Include more specific, detailed, and relevant examples to underpin your arguments. The essay is somewhat lacking in rich, illustrative examples that could strengthen your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Due to the low cost of flights, many people are choosing to holiday abroad rather than have holidays in their own country. What are the advantages and disadvantages to this.

Environmental issues such as climate change have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments against offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

The developments in Happy valley shopping center from 1982 to 2012 is represent by maps.

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals form dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?