Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or managing money) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is said that
students
required
Add a missing verb
are required
show examples
to learn additional
skills
that will be useful to them in
life
,
such
as car maintenance and money management,
along with
traditional subjects currently studying in schools.
This
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons why the changes in the
school
curriculum are extremely important and necessary for society.
Firstly
, in
this
day and age, the
school
curriculum includes a huge number of different subjects that cover the gigantic variety of science. An extensive study of all
this
knowledge takes up a huge amount of
time
in a teenager’s
life
.
For instance
, more than half of
students
free
time
is usually spent studying and completing tasks , which has a detrimental effect on the development of other
skills
that will be more useful in
life
. The study of practical
skills
can make average
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
life
easier.
Moreover
,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the appearance of
a teenagers
Correct the article-noun agreement
teenagers
a teenager
show examples
with more free
time
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lead to more enjoyable and happier lives for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation.
Secondly
, in the long
run
Add the comma(s)
run,
show examples
additional
skills
lead to increasing productivity of population and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
mobility.
For example
, in the case where people from
school
time
start to gain experience in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money management,
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
and financial independence, they definitely
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
more efficient and successful in their work and
life
.
This
kind of change will improve the quality of
life
for all people. In conclusion, I absolutely agree with
this
innovation in
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
curriculum ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
skills
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
students
.
This
will bring great benefits for
students
, who will
built
Change the verb form
build
show examples
our future and industrial progress.
Submitted by aisha.alen99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a clear and direct answer to the prompt at the beginning of your essay. This helps the reader understand your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear logical structure in your essay, with well-developed paragraphs that flow smoothly.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more specific and precise language to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar, as there are some errors present.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!