Nowadays, children play less with others and this has an impart on their development. What are the reasons for this? Does it have a good or a bad effect on children?
In the modern world, there
have
many causes why children are spending time with Verb problem
are
people
lower than before ,and this
action is very important for their growth and behavior. In my opinion, I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
think
is negative for children. Correct your spelling
this
This
essay will discuss about
Remove the preposition
apply
this
situation.
First of all, if young one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
who
aren'Correct pronoun usage
apply
t
playing
time with others, they will have Verb problem
spending
problem
with Fix the agreement mistake
problems
community
and health. Correct article usage
the community
For example
, people
who are playing the
internet or Change preposition
on the
they
are working online Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
sometime
Replace the word
some time
they
will Correct pronoun usage
apply
bored
, Change the verb form
be bored
bore
also
siting
long hours may be harmful Correct your spelling
sitting
in
health like short Change preposition
to
eye
and higher weight. So, I think that the Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
most
problem Correct word choice
biggest
of
young Change preposition
for
people
why
they aren'Add a missing verb
is why
t
attention with
sociable Change preposition
to
because
the development of technology like Add the preposition
because of
Add an article
the internet
internet
.
Capitalize word
Internet
Secondly
, hanging out and communicate
with Wrong verb form
communicating
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
are very important for child's
development because they can learn with other Correct article usage
a child's
people
like how to know and understand person
Correct article usage
a person
such
as when they will
go to Verb problem
apply
playing
with kids in the park, they can practice skills like how to work with Wrong verb form
play
group
. Add an article
the group
a group
In contrast
, when children who
play alone in Correct pronoun usage
apply
house
, they don'Add an article
the house
a house
t
have skills
Correct article usage
the skills
how
to work with Rephrase
apply
team
. Add an article
the team
a team
In
Change preposition
At
the
present, many young are Correct article usage
apply
very
enjoying Rephrase
apply
to live
alone because Change the verb form
living
of
they can keep in touch with others by using Change preposition
apply
the
new Correct article usage
apply
innovation
like Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
computer
and Fix the agreement mistake
computers
smartphone
. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Therefor
, I think that Correct your spelling
Therefore
this
action is very hard to change.
To sum up
, I think that the reasons of
Change preposition
apply
teenager
are spending time less because of the technology that Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
make
the world change like humans can do Wrong verb form
is making
everyting
online and they think that isn'Correct your spelling
everything
t
important to meet people
in real life.Submitted by itchayatop31 on
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task response
You need to provide more specific and relevant ideas to support your arguments. Use examples, data, or personal experiences to make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay. Use linking words and transitional phrases to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary. Use more precise and varied words to express your ideas. Avoid repetitive or vague language.
grammatical range
Improve your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence formation.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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