The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #people #money

Nowadays, many societies believe that earning more wealth is an integral part of getting a better

life

However

, in my personal opinion acquiring an adequate amount of

money

may be the initial gate for

someone

to have a prosperous

life

This

essay will discuss the reason why I think that the main reason for the public to work is

money

To begin

with, it is the capitalist system, which makes the rich become richer

while

the poor just become stagnant or even poorer.

This

system began when people started to monopolize every resource including land, livestock, water and any other valuable resources.

For instance

, by gaining full control of those basic needs, they can make

someone

spend their cash to trade the commodities to ensure those folk can through their

life

Hence

, that was the beginning of the people started to trade their time and energy with

money

Moreover

, the capitalist system has been more developed in

this

21st century which is mainly supported by the invention of

investment

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

Therefore

investment

was basically designed to make the one who has more cash can get more return on the same

instrument

This

thesis can be simply proven by doing a simple arithmetic calculation for the return of the

investment

instrument

which has a 5% coupon with an initial

investment

of 1 million and 100 million rupiah. Unfortunately,

it is clear that

the 100 million initial

investment

will obtain more return for the same

instrument

in the same period.

Thus

money

plays an essential role in building

someone

's fortune.

To conclude

although

some people are willing to work

due to

their passion, it is

money

that will give us a chance to make a better

life

Therefore

, in the end,

money

is the sole factor that leads

someone

willing to work nine to five.

Submitted by dowjones on Sun Oct 29 2023

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Monetary gain
Passion-driven
Personal fulfillment
Career progression
Professional development
Work-life balance
Job satisfaction
Societal expectations
Cultural values
Altruism
Positive impact
Intrinsic motivation
Extrinsic motivation
Internal rewards
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Psychological aspects
Motivational factors

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The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

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In some countries, schools are open late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?