Everybody should stay at school until age 18 to what extent do you agree or disagree
Schooling is a part of every
childrens'
life to uplift knowledge and skills.Change noun form
child's
However
,It is argued that everybody should stay at school
untilage
18.It is hard to disregard the topic.I partially agree with the given notion and Correct your spelling
until age
until
further
it will be discussed.
In
Change preposition
On
one
hand Correct article usage
the one
education
can provide quality life to individual
person.There are some requirements to select Add an article
an individual
the individual
white colour
jobs in the world.in Correct your spelling
white-collar
fact
to become a doctor Add a comma
fact,
student
should learn bioscience at Fix the agreement mistake
students
school
,hence
should attend school
until age
18.Not only that the jobs such
as engineere
,lawyer and teacher need that much level of Correct your spelling
engineer
engineered
education
certificates to follow course modules.Further
,to gain social recognition and reputation students should attend classes as much as possible. Otherwise
they will be shamed by the society. Moving ahead children could be able to learn vast Add a comma
Otherwise,
acedamic
knowledge, skills, behaviours and Correct your spelling
academic
also
good sharing qualities which help to find a good job through the maximum schooling time.As a
Change the article
an
example
Sri Lanka Add a comma
example,
provide
free Change the verb form
provides
education
until age
Correct article usage
the age
18
for Change preposition
of 18
evey
student. Correct your spelling
every
Therefore
it is important to take that opportunity to polish childrens'
Change noun form
children's
personality
.
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
On the other hand
, people can argue that it is a waste of time and not necessary to attend school
until maximum age
. Moreover
some people have born skills to dance, sing, play, cook, and fix something. Add a comma
Moreover,
As
I believe it is good to take time to develop their talents and find a career which is Correct word choice
apply
relevent
to that field. So for that it is not necessary to attend Correct your spelling
relevant
school
untill
Correct your spelling
until
age
18. Infact
, in Sri Lanka there are lots of writers who won Correct your spelling
In fact
medels
for their writing. Among them majority have Correct your spelling
medals
models
primary level
Add a hyphen
primary-level
school
education
.However
they are not Add a comma
However,
loosing
their particular field of interest.Not only that students can learn from their parents, relatives, neighbours and society. Correct your spelling
losing
Hence
children can decide whether they want to go to school
or not.But in some countries like Sri Lanka
it is a Add a comma
Lanka,
compulsary
manner by law. Correct your spelling
compulsory
Government
is always monitoring it. not only that it is prohibited to get work done by students who are below Correct article usage
The government
age
Correct article usage
the age
18
by law.
Change preposition
of 18
To conclude
,I think that to achieve a white colour job with recognition it is must
to attend Correct article usage
a must
school
until age
18. Other than that it is not necessary to follow because there are lots of paths as well as
opportunities in the world.Submitted by chamodimadushika2223 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and make your essay more persuasive.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the overall clarity and accuracy of your writing.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.