In many countries, children are enganged in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as complitely wrong, while others consider it was valuable work experience.

#countries #children #work #people

in many nations,

children

are involved in various types of employment. some would say that

this

is utterly wrong,

while

others state that it is fine on the grounds that it prepares them for living after school as

Correct article usage

a workface

show examples

workface

Correct your spelling

workforce

This

essay

agree

Change the verb form

agrees

show examples

with the latter point. and will show that, despite some concerns about its effect on education, working at a young age can enhance a

persons's

Fix the agreement mistake

person's

show examples

chracter

Correct your spelling

character

. It is often argued that working before

age

Correct article usage

the age

show examples

of eighteen is wrong because

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

impacts how

succssesful

Correct your spelling

successful

children

are in their studies.

This

is because

thei

Correct your spelling

they

are under increasing pressure to perform academically, and

ajob

Correct your spelling

a job

will force them to reduce the time they have to study

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

For example

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

a UK

children

's charity found that

children

who worked part-time were less likely to

achive

Correct your spelling

achieve

higher grades than those who did not.

However

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show examples

believe the

lesson

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lessons

show examples

children

can learn from working

are

Change the verb form

show examples

invaluable. Getting a part-time job contributes towards

children

's character development. It teaches them the value of hard

work

and exposes them to the real

word

Correct your spelling

world

show examples

, where they learn things they would never learn in the classroom.

This

can

also

result in them working harder and being more disciplined at school.

For example

, a teenager working in a restaurant for a few hours at the weekend can learn how to interact with the general public without their academic

performancebeing

Correct your spelling

performance being

performance-being

negatively affected.

For

this

reason,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that concerns about

work

's negative effects on education are

anfounded

Correct your spelling

unfounded

founded

. In conclusion, despite fears that

children

will neglect their studies if

thei

Correct your spelling

they

are required to

work

this

essay thinks that a little

work

experience at a young age can build character, and actually help students achieve their educational goals.

Submitted by musa.nuwa on Sun Oct 29 2023

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task response

Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization and coherence of your essay by using clear topic sentences and logical transitions.

lexical resource

Work on expanding your range of vocabulary to make your essay more sophisticated.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and use a variety of sentence types.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, children are enganged in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as complitely wrong, while others consider it was valuable work experience.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “Overall, the widespread use of the internet has a mostly positive effect on life in today’s world.” Use reasons and details to support your opinion.

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that internet-based lectures is better type of lectures. The other tend to believe that university-based lecture is still needed. Explain both side of the view and give your opinion.

At present times, the population of some countries include a relative number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?