The charts show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car

The charts show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car
The bar graph shows why people choose to go to
work
by driving or Cycling.
Overall
,it is evident from the charts that most people travel to
work
by cycling because there's less pollution and it promotes health and fitness,
while
some individuals
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to drive
majorly
Rephrase
mainly
show examples
because of comfort.
To begin
with,A larger percentage of people
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
40% chose to travel by car to
work
for Comfort,
while
a similar pattern was observed among those who enjoy cycling to
work
because of less pollution, Health and pollution as they had an equivalent figure of 30% respectively.
Similarly
,Those who stated their reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
going to their workplace by driving a car to be
as a result
of faster transportation when compared to cycling and the need to carry things to
work
had the same percentage at almost one-fifth of the total.
Finally
,The percentage of those who engaged in cycling to
work
as a result
of Safety was at 11%,Just a little
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
than those who cycled to
work
as a result
of no costs and Faster than driving.
However
,Slightly above one-fifth had to go to
work
via
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car because of the distance.
Submitted by bumzyakins on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as a result, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words work with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • commute
  • sustainable
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • carbon footprint
  • fuel expenses
  • parking availability
  • gridlock
  • mass transit
  • individual choice
What to do next:
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