Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What is the main reason for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for society as whole.

#people #change #careers #life #reason #development #society

Nowadays, there is a tendency to change the career path during the worktime in life. I am

opinated

Correct your spelling

opined

opinionated

operated

that it creates a positive impact on the individual from the personal perspective and on the modern community. A vast majority cannot make a decision regarding

the

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apply

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further

career and the working area in their teen ages. Sometimes parents can play the decisive role in choosing,

therefore

hesitated people follow the wrong career path which creates

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apply

show examples

despair and an unwillingness to

work

. Unable to reveal their preferences in a type of job at an early age, some individuals are starting to do it at a more conscious age,

finally

changing the

work

completely.

This

surfaced passion may bring not only positive emotions and help to deal with stress

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but

also

to earn money. These factors may lead to personal success as an implemented personality, which is vital for everyone in case of realisation in a desired sphere.

In addition

, a person could be not a worthy specialist

according to

the past

work-place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

because of no interest, but by doing

work

which evokes only positive feelings in them, an individual may make

also

a contribution to humanity.

For instance

, working as a doctor and

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Remove the article

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show examples

tiredness from an odious job,

ones

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one

show examples

may negatively influence

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society like rude

the

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show examples

patients and

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

inefficiently.

However

, by changing the workplace to a more preferable one, the previous doctor can become an artist, thanks to which the art history will probably witness crucial changes as a

new

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newly

show examples

developed art movement. In

this

way, society has a chance to gain new specialist who is burning with their

work

. In conclusion, I believe the awareness of the

wrong chosen

Add a hyphen

wrong-chosen

show examples

option is always for the good of the person and society.

Submitted by arinatiutina on Sun Oct 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states the main topic and the writer's position.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support the arguments.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people these days change careers throughout their working life. What is the main reason for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for society as whole.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the government should pay money for large pieces of art, like sculptures for public display in outdoor places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.