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Some people feel that entertainers( e.g. film stars,pop musicians or sports star) are paid too much money. Do u agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #star #money #jobs
The paycheck that entertainers get is quite a lot
compare
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compared
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 to the other jobs role that
require
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requires
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 a lot of qualifications and effort to be employed and get paid well. I agree to
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
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extend
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extent
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 regarding
this
 topic and
i
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I
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 will examine my perspective and the reason why
i
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I
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 agree. The
entertaintment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 industry has a certain connotation because of how overrated its paycheck is compared to the result and end-product
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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put
Verb problem
produces
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. Compare
to
Correct pronoun usage
this to
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 a standby Nurse
on
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in
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a
Correct article usage
an
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 emergency
wings
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wing
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on
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in
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 a hospital whose daily shift will be around 30 hours shift per day
while
 dealing with lots of patients
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 need specific licensed
skills
 with a certain academic degree for them to be able to even get the job.
While
an entertainers
Correct the article-noun agreement
entertainers
an entertainer
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 might only need one skill that can help them achieve
designated
Add an article
the designated
a designated
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 purpose, e.g a star film actor, they only have to focus on how to better their acting
skills
 in order for them to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good film shoots and by doing it with bare minimum
skills
, without needing any certification or licensed
skills
, they will get paid hugely.
this phenomena
Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena
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 could
leading
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lead
be leading
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 to people glorifying certain jobs and undermining other
occupation
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occupations
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 as something
that is
 not as crucial as it really is. All in all,
i
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I
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 believe that there
such
 be a specific change that should be improved. acknowledging that many jobs deserve better minimum
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 and
by
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apply
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improving the minimum wages for employees with certain qualifications will
helps
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help
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this
 solution to avoid
unaccaptable
Correct your spelling
unacceptable
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
 for the people who are disadvantaged.
Submitted by nabilarasya35 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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