Some people feel that entertainers( e.g. film stars,pop musicians or sports star) are paid too much money. Do u agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #star #money #jobs

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The paycheck that entertainers get is quite a lot

compare

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compared

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to the other jobs role that

require

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requires

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a lot of qualifications and effort to be employed and get paid well. I agree to

certain

Correct article usage

a certain

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extend

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extent

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regarding

this

Linking Words

topic and

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will examine my perspective and the reason why

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agree. The

entertaintment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

industry has a certain connotation because of how overrated its paycheck is compared to the result and end-product

they

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put

Verb problem

produces

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. Compare

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this to

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a standby Nurse

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Correct article usage

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emergency

wings

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wing

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a hospital whose daily shift will be around 30 hours shift per day

while

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dealing with lots of patients

that

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who

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need specific licensed

skills

Use synonyms

with a certain academic degree for them to be able to even get the job.

While

Linking Words

an entertainers

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entertainers

an entertainer

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might only need one skill that can help them achieve

designated

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the designated

a designated

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purpose, e.g a star film actor, they only have to focus on how to better their acting

skills

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in order for them to get

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apply

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good film shoots and by doing it with bare minimum

skills

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, without needing any certification or licensed

skills

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, they will get paid hugely.

Linking Words

this phenomena

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this phenomenon

these phenomena

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could

leading

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lead

be leading

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to people glorifying certain jobs and undermining other

occupation

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occupations

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as something

that is

Linking Words

not as crucial as it really is. All in all,

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believe that there

such

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be a specific change that should be improved. acknowledging that many jobs deserve better minimum

salary

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salaries

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and

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apply

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improving the minimum wages for employees with certain qualifications will

helps

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help

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this

Linking Words

solution to avoid

unaccaptable

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unacceptable

affects

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effects

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for the people who are disadvantaged.

Submitted by nabilarasya35 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples and elaboration to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more logically and clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Some people feel that entertainers( e.g. film stars,pop musicians or sports star) are paid too much money. Do u agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Blood sports have become a hot Topic for debate in recent years. As Society develops, it is increasingly seen as an uncivilised activity and cruel to the animals that are killed. All sports animals should be banned discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people want the government to spend more money for looking life on other planets; however, others think that it is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth that the government should be solving. Discuss both views and give your opinion.