In some ocuntries, small town-center shop are out of business because people are driving to large out-of-town stores. As a result people without cars have limited access to shops, and so more and more people buy cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this development outweigh the advantages?

With the rapid urbanization process in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades, the increasing establishment of
shops
in
town
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
has outnumbered
shops
located
out-of
Add a hyphen
out-of-town
show examples
town
, resulting in a growing
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of vehicles commuting between these locations. Personally, I contend that the resulting drawbacks outweigh the benefits. It is true that the increased establishment of new stores in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
can facilitate prosperity. For people who work in
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
that frequently commute between
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
and downtown, it is undoubtedly convenient, as they can easily purchase groceries on their way home.
Furthermore
, the growing
number
of
shops
in
town
could
also
benefit
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
industry. Tourists often seek accomodations close to attractions, allowing
shops
nearby to gain profits, which
serve
Correct subject-verb agreement
serves
show examples
as an additional reason why businesses prefer to
situated
Change the verb
situate
show examples
themselves in
town-center
Correct your spelling
the centre
show examples
rather than
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
.
However
, I am convinced that the drawbacks
following
this
phenonmenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
surpass
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
. The decreased
number
of out-of-
town
stores means an increased frequency of local
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
commuting between these areas, which may potentially impose a financial burden on individuals as some residents do not own cars.
Moreover
, with the growing
number
of vehicle ownerships
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
citizens, the commute between
town
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
will remarkably rise, which might result in traffic congestion without proper infrastructure. A following issue is that the growing
number
of cars will increase exhaust
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
, which is unquestionably detrimental to the already endangered environment.
Therefore
, I believe that the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
of local
shops
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
essential to prevent the extended problems that might arise without them. In conclusion, it is significant that the demerits of not having local
shops
outweigh the merits. Local
shops
continue to be
fundemental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
for individuals living in suburbs, and their presence could potentially benefit the environment in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
Submitted by jessieiniar1202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more precise and varied language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!