More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#people #price #foods

In the

fast evolving

Add a hyphen

fast-evolving

show examples

world, the launch of new products has been introduced in the market.

People

consume more than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

usual and they tend to gain weight.

This

results in obesity. Obesity is the most dangerous disease that we face in today's world.

For example

People

become couch potatoes and consume

large

Change the article

a large

show examples

amount of snacks

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

junk

foods

which contains rich fats

while

watching tv.

Due to

lack of

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

and being

inactive

Add a comma

inactive,

show examples

they are gaining more weight. The solution to

this

problem is

by increasing

Change preposition

to increase

show examples

the price of fattening

foods

. I disagree with

this

because increasing the price of a commodity does not bring any changes to

this

issue.

People

find comfort in their fast

foods

while

eating so how much ever the price increases they tend to buy it even more as long as their cravings are satisfied.

People

should be active in their

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

life. Taking up different activities like hitting the gym,

cyclying

Correct your spelling

cycling

, doing aerobic exercises, and

also

swimming will help them lose their fat.

People

should

atleast

Correct your spelling

at least

spend an hour or two

do to

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

activities in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

to stay fit and healthy. And

also

can change their diet plans by consuming less amount of sugar,fat,

oil

Correct word choice

and oil

show examples

to reduce their

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

level. And switch to

orgainc

Correct your spelling

organic

foods

like greens and vegetables. If they are

tempeted

Correct your spelling

tempted

to eat fast

foods

or junk

foods

they can eat healthy snacks

such

museli

Correct your spelling

muesli

and grains and can consume chocolates that

contains

Change the verb form

contain

show examples

less fat.

Therefore

, in order to reduce their weight,

people

need to consume 8

glass

Fix the agreement mistake

glasses

show examples

of water per day and do enough

Change preposition

apply

show examples

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

to stay fit and healthy.

Submitted by insighttribez on Mon Oct 30 2023

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task response

To improve your task response score, it is important to fully address the prompt and provide a clear response to the question. In this essay, while you discuss obesity and the consumption of fattening foods, you do not explicitly state your agreement or disagreement with the solution of increasing the price of these foods. Make sure to clearly express your position on the given topic.

coherence cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion score, work on the organization of your essay. Provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and your position, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Additionally, make sure to use appropriate transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and create a logical flow. In this essay, although you touch on various activities to lose weight, they lack a clear connection to the topic of increasing the price of fattening foods. It is important to maintain focus on the given topic throughout the essay.

lexical resource

To improve your lexical resource score, work on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of words and phrases to express your ideas. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and use of appropriate academic and formal language. In this essay, there is repetitiveness in the use of terms like 'fast foods' and 'junk foods'. Try to vary your language and use synonyms or alternative expressions.

grammatical range

To improve your grammatical range score, focus on sentence structure, verb tenses, and grammatical accuracy. Make sure to use a variety of sentence types, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences, to demonstrate your language proficiency. Additionally, check for errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. In this essay, there are some errors in sentence structure and subject-verb agreement. Proofread your essay carefully to identify and correct such errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online than face to face . Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good to hare as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.