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Writing Samples
Band 8

In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problem.

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Driven by globalization and modern logistics, it makes it possible for us to obtain many items produced abroad.
Although
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 the trend may exert some negative impact, the advantages as a whole outweigh the disadvantages. It is true that overseas commodities can take a toll on not only the environment but the local economy. For one thing, purchasing products made in foreign countries means the increasing amount of carbon footprint brought by long-distance transportation from one place to another. Especially, most transport vehicles are fueled by fossil energy, thereby polluting both the air and the ocean. For another, local producers face fierce competition against foreign counterparts, because consumers are inclined to purchase goods with lower prices and better quality.
As a result
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, it may devastate the manufacturing sector in a country,
thus
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 forcing many locals to lose their jobs.
However
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, those issues can be addressed in a proper manner by taking active measures.
Firstly
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, clean energy has been widely applied nowadays, which will make goods transportation more environmentally friendly in the future.
Furthermore
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, the government can introduce citizens to engage in some businesses that are more competitive,
such
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 as high technology, tertiary industry and so on.
On the contrary
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, there are more benefits for consumers who are able to shop for products worldwide.
To begin
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 with, they may spend less money on basic necessities thanks to the lower cost of manufacturing in developing countries, which in turn makes them able to save more money on education, healthcare and other essential spending.
Moreover
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, citizens can source more choices with the prevalent trend of shopping globally.
For example
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, children are able to eat many fresh fruits overseas, which is definitely beneficial to our health, and we can
also
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 gain pleasure from multiple choices. In conclusion,
while
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 it may pose a threat to both individuals and the environment for too many aboard products become available in our markets, we can benefit more from the trend.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Consider using linking words and phrases to create a cohesive flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement and a brief summary of the main points in the introduction. Similarly, restate the thesis and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms and descriptive terms. Try to avoid repeating the same words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and use a variety of sentence types (simple, compound, complex) to demonstrate your grammatical range. Be mindful of subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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