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Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

#numbers #students #study #trend #benefit #countries
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It is commonly known that more and more people increasingly get the chance of going to go to university, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is seen in the growing number of
students
Use synonyms
 every year.
This
Linking Words
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
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students
Use synonyms
 makes a growing amount of
students
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 prefer to go to foreign universities, which can be as beneficial for every individual as for the
countries
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 they study in. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 studying abroad can be beneficial for
students
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 when it comes to improving language skills.
However
Linking Words
, using a foreign language in different subjects can lead to a significant improvement, not only in the subject the
students
Use synonyms
 are involved in, but
also
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 in language skills which can be very beneficial for life, especially in terms of a
persons
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person's
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 job, in the future.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, moving away from home, moving out and starting a new chapter of life in another
country
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 can be challenging for
life-experiences
Correct your spelling
life experiences
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for
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apply
show examples
students
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 can make in creating a life abroad, not only positive ones but
also
Linking Words
 lessons to learn.
In addition
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, not only the individual
students
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 can gain from studying in foreign
countries
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,
Add the word(s)
, but
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also
Linking Words
 the
countries
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 themselves can take
advantages
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advantage
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from
Change preposition
apply
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of
students
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 that come from other
countries
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 in winning in diversity and more highly educated people that may stay in the
county
Correct your spelling
country
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 they went to university in. After finishing their degree, they may stay and provide good work for their
choosen
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chosen
country
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when the young degree holders cannot find a job in the
country
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 they have finished their degree and they leave right after finishing university, the
countries
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 will make financial losses, because of
educating
Replace the word
education
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 for other
countries
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 and will not have enough insufficient people for their own economic system. In conclusion, studying abroad can certainly have many advantages for
students
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as for
Change preposition
in
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 the
countries
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 they study in.
However
Linking Words
, as there can be a beneficial side, there may
also
Linking Words
 be some disadvantages
demerits
Correct word choice
and demerits
show examples
 for the individual and for the
country
Use synonyms
 itself.
Submitted by manurishinanda on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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