IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Sports programmes are very popular on television nowadays. Some people argue that those programmes are the reasons for poor health of many young people as the prefer to watch sports rather than partake in them. Do you agree or disagree with this view ?

#sports #programmes #television #people #health #prefer
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It is sometimes argued that watching
sports
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programmes
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 will result in less physical activity and health issues in the young generation.
While
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 watching long
hours
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 of
TV
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 shows is considered to be a possible threat, I do not agree with the idea that watching
sport
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 shows will negatively affect young
people
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's lives. Health organization have always been worried about long
hours
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 of watching
TV
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 and problems which come with it.
Firstly
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, they argue that
due to
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 the excitement which
sport
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 may have,
people
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 tend to spend more time watching these shows or matches.
For instance
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, A football game alongside analysis shows lasts more than three
hours
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.
Secondly
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,
people
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 tend to eat and drink unhealthily during
programmes
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 and they are not aware of how many calories they get by eating too many snacks and drinks.
Finally
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, spending long
hours
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 in front of a
TV
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 can be a dangerous habit that leads the youth towards laziness and results in a sedentary lifestyle with no physical activity.
On the other hand
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, watching
sports
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programmes
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 is considered to motivate young folk to get active.
That is
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, a wide range of
people
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 who are into
sports
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 are tempted to follow their dreams of becoming even pros in their desired field of
sport
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. Different surveys have shown that watching
sport
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 on
TV
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 sparked the motivation of
people
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 who are playing and working out regularly.
For instance
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, I as a gymaholic started lifting weights and going to the gym after watching bodybuilding competitions and I am still eagerly following those shows. In conclusion, watching different
programmes
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 including
sports
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 on
TV
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 may exacerbate the prevalent sedentary lifestyle in some cases, but overally the followers of
sports
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 shows are motivated to stay active by watching those shows.
Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task; the essay should be clearly structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, maintaining a consistent position throughout. Some areas of the argument may require further development to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ideas should be logically organized, and paragraphs should have clear central topics. Use a range of cohesive devices and linking words appropriately to aid the reader's understanding, and maintain paragraph unity by keeping to one idea per paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical activity
  • viewership
  • partake
  • health repercussions
  • screen time
  • role models
  • inspiration
  • motivation
  • advances in broadcasting
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • lifestyle choices
  • awareness campaigns
  • community sports programs
  • balance
  • engage in sports
  • influence
  • physical engagement
  • sports celebrities
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